Something’s not right
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26-07-2016 02:35 PM
26-07-2016 02:35 PM
dont want to leave room
Hi,
I recently moved to a country town for work. Probably wasnt up to working. quit after a week.
I dont have a base re accomadation. I prepaid 2 wks at a reduced rate in a motel.
Even tho they swapped rooms on me to a way worse one, I am thinking that they are going to try and charge me more for leaving early.
I left my tools at work. I cant bring myself to go there to pick them up
I need major dental work. I can afford it but again just cannot decide
I dont know why I didnt leave here a week ago.
I use alcohol. A lot. I have told myself I will stay here until sober for a few days
then make a semi sane decision about what to do and where to go.
I just feel bad about leaving the room, being in the room, seeing other people at the moment
yes I realise its in my head. Have a history of anxiety and depression
Its all getting circular
just wish I would stop bothering myself about it so much 🙂
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26-07-2016 04:16 PM
26-07-2016 04:16 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
Hello @TAB
Welcome to the SANE Forums!
You seem to be feeling quite uncertain at the moment about what to do regarding accommodation and work. Making decisions can be really hard sometimes, especially with a history of anxiety and depression. I'm wondering how you have managed to make big decisions in the past?
You mentioned that you use alcohol a lot and are aiming to be sober over the next few days. I'm wondering if it would be helpful to have some support during this time? Directline offers 24/7 alcohol and other drug counselling services, via phone (1800 888 236) and online.
Many others on these Forums will relate to the difficulty you are experiencing leaving your room at the moment, I hope you find some valuable support here!
Take care,
Shimmer
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26-07-2016 06:42 PM
26-07-2016 06:42 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
Hi, thanks for that
yes I did go down the track of 'how did I before' re coping. I guess I told myself that there was more at stake this time re job.Also the accom isnt really suitable for more than a week and have done it for 3 now
..anyhoo.. 'landlady' burst in wanting to change some scrap of furniture for another, no requests, just knocked on door and helped themselves. That got me going. Said nothing. Sat outside til she left.
..then went and picked up my tools that was somehow too hard basket for last almost a week, did my laundry, went to centrelink.. so feeling a lot better about things now. just takes a push sometimes, even an impromptu negative one from outside that makes you say 'to hell with this' and just get up and sort stuff yourself
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26-07-2016 09:41 PM
26-07-2016 09:41 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
I'm glad you have your tools back. So what now? Are you going to see a gp? Might be a good first step. I see a psychologist who also is experienced with drug and alcohol. I have depression and anxiety. I used to drink. Sometimes a lot. 10 weeks tomorrow of no drinking. it really makes life a lot Easier.
I hope things start improving for you
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26-07-2016 09:54 PM
26-07-2016 09:54 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
yeah, understand, have had lots of experiences with centrelink in the past. I was doing well at the end of last year so got off it again. Poor woman who saw me today was ok.
havent seen a good GP for years, well there was an excellent one in Adelaide, I havent found any in WA. only ones who bulk bill seem to be from UK in corporate medical centres, had had all sorts of eye opening and bizarre experiences with them. I think I need an address lol. my sister just started getting my mail again after ten years trying to make a go of it in WA. Getting too old for this 🙂 but yes will see people soon. Thanks
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26-07-2016 10:01 PM
26-07-2016 10:01 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
..and it will get better ..'utopia' .. just didnt picture myself here after all I had done right. ok lots wrong. dont really care about the wrong tho if I can still manage a sentient thought, am not in pain, and not having to see or hear other people when I dont want to. Funny thing was, I may have looked, well sounded at least sorta ok the other week when was getting set challenges and talked to roughly at work. it stayed in my head. and grew, and I stayed home.I need familiar faces I think. after a bit of a chat with a professional. again. ..aaagh ..lol well its been a while
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26-07-2016 10:31 PM
26-07-2016 10:31 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
Hello @TAB
I liked you line about wishing to stop bothering yourself.
Sometimes we can be our worst enemy, yet I do believe that only happens after a lot of internalising of negative input from others. Then we do it to ourselves.
Impressed you got you tools and such a lot done.
YEP its best to do it yourself ... that has been my strategy for a long time ... and it usually works.
Also I am aware of some of the roughness of treatment in certain industries ... it shouldnt be acceptable in a workplace ... but sadly it is often the way people talk.
Hope you get benefit from the forums.
Apple
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26-07-2016 10:44 PM
26-07-2016 10:44 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
yes, it's easy to blame, and well, won't comment re state of world re media, major functionality decrease last 6 months with me and that has coincided with increased work expectations and me taking more chances re jobs, then still ending up thinking, well how did that happen :-0 ...der.. and just realised other recent 'catastrophes' where years in the making, when I thought I was ok. Well I felt better about things anyway, while setting myself up for a fall lol .. which has been a bit of a perfect storm re falling since February I now realise
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26-07-2016 10:47 PM
26-07-2016 10:47 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
thanks again. and it's perceived negativity re other as much as real but yes its real, its what you do with it
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26-07-2016 10:48 PM
26-07-2016 10:48 PM
Re: dont want to leave room
hope you can get a home base sorted soon .. its cold out ...