Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

they can be very good at manipulating, being seen to play the game.
enjoying himself with new people is a good sign though. just keep a keen eye out for drugs they are bad news

[Janie]

I agree. We can't get too excited.

I have seen some good changes lately, for instance he washed my car and mopped the kitchen floor for me. I've not been sweating the negative behaviour as much and just focussing and commenting on the positive things that he does.

[Two]

Wow! Thank you Patty! This dragon thing has put a different light on what's happening with my sons. Do they grow out of it? But what happens if there's a mental illness as well?

[Two]

I could almost sign my name to your post. The similarities to my son's behavior are incredible. I can't fathom the negative attitude either but he did have a bad break up with a girlfriend 4 years ago. My son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and medication has settled some of his behavior, but his attitude to society isnt pleasant. Good luck to all of us...parents and kids.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Two .... 🌷💜

They do grow out of it ... generally by their mid-20's ....

MI complicates it, but so do full-on personalities and other life-forces.

It just helps to know that the hormone cocktail and identity crisis of this age turns them a bit feral for a while.

[Two]

What are we all doing up at this time of night? Wondering, worrying and searching for help. Sigh. I found a liitle tonight. Thank you.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hope you can sleep a little now ... 💤

@Two

[Janie]

Re: The negative behaviour.  A funny thing happened...my son got home off the train from his first week away (which was very peaceful for me by the way), after about 30 minutes he discovered that he didn't have his wallet and believed it had been stolen. I told him not to worry and he could phone the station to see if anyone handed it in.  He rolled his eyes and told me I was being stupid, and no one hands things in. I calmly told him that 'you only get to ask the question, you let other people answer it'.  The phone rang about an hour later. It was the station attendant letting him know that his wallet had been handed in. The look on his face was priceless. Then we had a talk about not just seeing the world in a negative light and that plenty of good things happened. When he picked the wallet up the station attendant told him that people handed things in all the time, wallets, phones, handbags, sunglasses, umbrellas and that there were plenty of good people in the world. It was a great lesson for him I think. He's done a bit of mowing and helped me cook the dinner tonight so maybe my baby dragon is growing up...slowly.  I hope so.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Good to hear @Janie ..... 😊

[Bandit1]

Hi, I'm new here but I can totally relate to having an adult son doing nothing....my son is 24 and suffers from PTSD and a few other things,from having fuel poured on him and set alight. He stays in his room nearly all the time,has no friends or interests and blames me for giving birth to him when he doesn't want to be here.He won't help out or clean his room,and his father blames me saying I raised him wrong.His older sister is a delight,has a job and finished University, so his father says HE raised her! His father was abusive to me when we were younger,but he hasn't physically touched me for a few years.I get emotional abuse from him sometimes...we've been together 31 yrs,since I was 18..If I try to call a help line, I have to wait until he's out of the house because he tells me to stop 'whingeing' and accuses me of being a 'dog'. My son has had 4yrs of various therapies,but nothing has helped,and he also has the disrespectful attitude towards me that his father has. When I try to tell him his son got the attitude from watching him,he says 'bullsh#t'...it's all my doing! I also have PTSD from seeing my son on fire and sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up.I'm sooo tired...I grew up with an alcoholic father who was violent towards my mother and I was molested at a young age,then again as a teenager I was sexually assaulted and I have suppressed all that. I don't have a clue how to help my son and I feel trapped in my life.