Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Mindcarers]

Have you been able to discuss this at all with your partner?

[CherryBomb]

Hi @tancate, sounds like that MI puts strain on the relationship and you in several ways - you provide support both financially and emotionally, which sounds draining, but your partner is unable to support you through these difficulties. How long have you been caring for your partner?

[tancate]

So the topic 'Should I stay or should I go' has arisen for me many times. My partner has been ill for 4.5 years out of our 11 year relationship. At times I wonder if I'm better off leaving but he's a good person and I do love him. I am curious how others with partners suffering from a mental illness justify staying with their partner.

[Jane230]

My partner suffers from mental health issues and I am struggling, as I feel like the focus of our relationship is centred on his needs at the expense of mine. It is even more difficult, as his ability to do basic everyday tasks are limited which makes life feel unbalanced, unequal, and quite stressful.

[Mindcarers]

Difficult to answer - the reasons may be different for each person

[Shaz51]

Hello @Mindcarers, @CherryBomb

[Former-Member]

Hi
I find the anger which comes with the depression and anxiety difficult.
Because of this it is very difficult to know at what time you need to worry more.

[CherryBomb]

@tancate and @Jane230, seems like you both share similar experiences where it feels like your partner' needs take centre stage while yours remain on the periphery. May I ask what would it be like if things remained the same way as they are now, for say, another 4 years?

[Mindcarers]

jane230 -its common for carers to feel they are never on the 'agenda' re their needs in the relationship. It can be very tough

[tancate]

I have been caring for my partner for 4.5 out of 11 years of our relationship. He recently had a job but it only lasted 4 months. I am trying to deal with it by spending more time with my friends, hobbies, work and family but I am grieving for the personality of the person I met.