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Bluelagoon
New Contributor

Major depression with psychotic features

Hello

I don't know if I'm in the right place but here I go. ..

So I really want to see the beauty in life but most days I cant. Ive been diagnosed with MDD with psychotic features. I feel chained to a heavy cage/trailor that I'm trying to cart up hill. Inside this cage I'm carrying is depression,loss,financial stress, demonic opression,unwanted, fear, pulled in 2 directions, voices, blind, deceived, disbelief, suicidal thoughts and identity and I need to unlock the trailor and off load all this stuff or unlock it and make it lighter. But I don't know how. I feel I'm stuck half way up the hill and I can't move no more. Hmmm i do get glimpses of light but it fades away wish I could hold onto the light forever and just be in the light. But for now it's dark and it's all too heavy. How much longer can I take this I really don't know. I hope I can surprise myself by the time I reach 30

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Major depression with psychotic features

Dear friend,

 

It is great that, regardless your feelings, you open yourself up to hope and look for connection in this forum, I think we all are always in the right place by doing so.

 

On my experience, everything in this world is ruled by polarity; you may be experiencing negativity, odd thoughts, sadness, but the truth is that there is a bit of light. You still know who you are, and you know who you wanna be, so the journey is called recovery. I can appreciate love and self-esteem in your words. To start walking towards a better place, my little advice is that you acknowledge that you are not responsible for all the bad feelings you've got on top. You don't own them, but they are the result of stress and agression that no doubt you might have experienced in one or other manner from the outside world—this world isn't kind all the time really—. But we don't have to put all that (shit) upon our shoulders and pull. We have to be a bit rational, try to be objective and identify those particular facts, situations, people, who have been harmful, then little by little focus well on it, and you will realise that you can justify all your pain, sorrow, fear with wisdom and good criteria,  even your psychotic thinking will eventually stop as it was a bad fever that wasn't meant to last forever.  Reinforce the good things, love, compassion. We are more that welcome to reject the bad, heavy stuff, and feel free. That's when you will be able to make choices that will bring a good fate, joy and success to you.

 

OK mate, I hope this words can be useful you to you in any way. And sisnce I am not an English native speaker sorry if my English sounded funny here or there.

 

All the best.

Re: Major depression with psychotic features

hello @Bluelagoon @e_peer 

 

Welcome to you both, well done on reaching out as i know that can be quite tough to do. Please feel free to have a look around and join in wherever you like. 

a little forum tip is to put an @ before a members name, this way itll tag them and theyll recieve a notification that your talking to them. 

 

I have anxiety and depression amongst other things but i havent experienced psychotic features so i hope others may be able to help you more in this regards

 

@greenpea  @The-red-centaur  i apologise if ive got this wrong but maybe you guys could help out here?

Re: Major depression with psychotic features

@Bluelagoon@e_peer @outlander  Hey and good morning Smiley Happy.  I am very tired atm but will endeavour to read back through your posts later on today. Just wanted to wish you all well. Take care. greenpeax

Re: Major depression with psychotic features

Hi @Bluelagoon 

 

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing your experiences here.

I'm sorry to hear that things are feeling so dark for you at the moment. I hope the forums can be a safe place for you where you feel you can reach out and share your experiences.

 

Sending strength your way,

 

Rosie93

Re: Major depression with psychotic features

Hi @Bluelagoon 

Welcome to the forums. I have a diagnosis of severe depression with psychosis so maybe I understand what it’s like for you.

 

I have recently returned to work after having most of last year off being in and out of hospital.

 

There are lots of friendly people on the forums willing to offer support.

 

Take care

💚🦋💚

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