Lived Experience Forum

[Oaktree]

Hi @HenryX 

How are you. Have you been keeping warm? It has been very cold especially overnight lately. I have been hoping to hear from you but have not really had any news to tell you myself. I am still seeing my psychologist but I don’t feel like I am making much progress and that is extremely frustrating. I don’t know how much longer I will keep trying. I stopped studying in April because it was too stressful and I was struggling with an assignment but I miss it now so I reapplied. I am not sure if I will get back in or not. I wouldn’t say I regretted leaving because all I felt at the time was a sense of relief. Anyway let’s wait and see what happens there. Anyway I hope that you are well and I look forward to hearing from you.

Meggle

[HenryX]

Hello @Oaktree 

Gosh, it has been near on a month since I was last here. Mentally, staying reasonably ok. Physically, I think that I am in about the same condition as @Emelia8 . However, the likelihood of any further work on my back is pretty low due to age. I don't know whether I mentioned, when I last dropped in to the forum, that I've moved into another cottage which is comfortable and "user friendly".

Your decision to withdraw from the course, I can understand. We often take on projects such as study programs, when we feel that we need a format for our own self expression and sometimes, escape from ourselves or recollections and memories. However, if we are dealing with other issues, it is very easy to overload ourselves without being aware of it until after we've made the commitment. Even so, maybe that is also a way of measuring where we are at, at any given time.

A few weeks ago, the counsellor and I thought that I had covered what needed to be addressed. That counselling process has been active for the last twelve months. Last week I received a call from her about some items that she thought that I may be able to use. I think that it was a moderately veiled way of having me pop in "for a chat", which I appreciated. While I could comfortably say that I have been doing ok, it was apparent during the discussion, that a few areas were still somewhat sensitive.

Something that I told her that I have been doing recently, is that when waking in the morning and while relaxing prior to sleep, that I was offering a positive greeting to as many people in my life who I could bring to mind. That includes everyone. Those with whom I have felt comfortable and the rest as well, those to whom I may have wronged or offended and those from whom I may expect such an acknowledgement. The counsellor asked me what had prompted this activity. Although at the time, I wasn't sure, it occurred to me later that it was partly that she had reminded me of the "talking to the empty chair" exercise, as though I were speaking with the person from whom I wanted an explanation or information. It was apparent to me that whatever was to be said, either way, was going to be in my own head. So why not simply make peace with them all and be done with it. That was also going to be in my own head. And that was all within my own control, and that was all that was/is within my own control. I have found that exercise has allowed me to feel a certain sense of ease and balance.

Well, If I'm going to stay balanced, I'd like to write a note to Emelia8 and then get to bed also. Remember that the chat session tomorrow is at 5.00 pm for WA people. If I recall that is on “keeping the balance” also.

For now

Goodnight and Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[Oaktree]

Hi @HenryX 

I found your note at 1:30am when I awoke to use the facilities. I was thinking of you just the other day. Thinking of how you had popped up only to disappear again. I decided not to write to you because it only leads to sadness when you are not around. I am glad to see on @Emelia8 ’s thread that you plan to be here on the forums more often though. I have reactivated my walking for wellness thread and have also started a what’s for dinner thread. I have been pretty active on those the last few days.

Maybe I overloaded myself with the study but I think the likelihood is that I quit because I was feeling overwhelmed. I was struggling with the wording of an assignment. I was doing quite well when I dropped out. I am feeling like I should have stayed and kept trying. Now my life has gone back to being so very boring. I need something to keep my mind busy and engaged.

Is your counsellor going to start seeing you again to address your ongoing sensitivities? Or are you supposed to deal with them on your own. I have been seeing my psychologist again for almost a year too. I wonder when she will stop seeing me?

I hope to attend the chat on balance tonight. It might be interesting. Anyway it was a surprise to hear from you but a lovely surprise. I hope to talk to you more soon!

Meggle

[NatureLover]

Hi @HenryX ,

---

@HenryX wrote:

I was offering a positive greeting to as many people in my life who I could bring to mind. That includes everyone. Those with whom I have felt comfortable and the rest as well, those to whom I may have wronged or offended and those from whom I may expect such an acknowledgement.

...

So why not simply make peace with them all and be done with it. 

---

I'm so impressed by this! A way of bringing peace to yourself! 

Thanks so much for sharing this. 

[HenryX]

Hello @Oaktree , @Emelia8 , @NatureLover , @Sophia1 , @Clawde 

Thank you all for replies and recognition of posts with supports.

@Meggle, I notice that you have been active in a number of threads on the forum. While I haven't yet had a chance to check out and get up to date with a lot of interactions, I think that it is good that you are involving yourself with a wider range of members and topics.

Your studies can be an important part of your life; on the other hand they can be quite demanding. I think that we have to leave decisions made in the past where they belong. We can keep mulling over what we should or shouldn't have done, but that just distracts us from the present and the future. The exception being, I think, when we might reflect on a past decision and subsequent outcomes to help us decide on a course of action that we are considering, in the present, for our future progress.

Counselling, at the present time, is completed {if that is ever really the case}. However, I can easily and quickly arrange for further discussions if and when I ever feel that such support would be helpful. Normally, I believe that counselling is to enable a person to go from a position of stress, disruption, disconnection, disharmony, conflict, etc., to a position of self-reliance. Consequently, a time comes when the material and topics covered in counselling need to be applied and tried solo. If that personal solo exercise leads to a position of independance, counselling has been successful. If the need for further assistance becomes evident, then it probably signifies the possible need for resumption of counselling. At the present time, I would consider myself as being at the "trial solo stage".

On Friday, there was a function organised for volunteers in the community. It was a good social activity and connection with a range of community members and people who offer different kinds of support from outside the community. A light evening meal was offered. Overall, a pleasant evening with older connections maintained and some interesting new connections established.

Saturday, I had lunch with friends in Dongara, then to Geraldton to pick up a clothes dryer, the usual favourite hardware store for some plumbing and garden supplies, followed by a two hour drive home. While there was a fair bit of driving involved, it was both a pleasant and successful day.

On Thursday, I missed the forum-chat on balance, but plan to go back to have a look and see what ideas were discussed.

@Emelia8, I will be catching up over on your thread also.

@NatureLover, thank you so much for your reflection on the thoughts, on this thread, that I offered with regard to working towards a sense of internal peace between self and others. I believe that it is not the actions words or absence of those by or from anyone else that causes instability in our lives, but rather, it is our internal mental and physical reactions that cause the instability. It is only by resolving those internal conflicts that exist within ourselves, even though they may be the result of external influences, initiated by others or ourselves, that we can find a sense of peace and equilibrium.

@Sophia1, I really enjoyed reading the thoughts that you expressed in this or another thread. Really good to see you again, after we have both been absent for a while.

@Clawde, I thought that the thoughts and ideas that you expressed with regard to @Andrea1 's dilemma, in her thread "Heartbroken" were spot on. Really encouraging ideas and support for her, during what appears to be a particularly difficult time of transition.

With Best Wishes to All

@HenryX

[Oaktree]

Hi @HenryX 

I have noticed that you have been around the forums the last few days with you supporting my posts randomly. I am doing ok, perhaps a bit flat in my mood the last several weeks. I have been trying to walk every day and trying to eat healthier these past couple of weeks. It’s really hard to stay motivated. I have noticed that I have lost a little bit which is good news. So much more to go but you have to start somewhere right? 
I have enjoyed getting to know other people on the forums lately. It’s hard to form relationships with others sometimes! I have a couple of other threads going that I started which give me places to be on the forums. I also enjoy the have a cuppa thread. @Former-Member  hangs out there a lot so there is usually someone to talk to. Yesterday I got invited to a virtual dinner party on Keeping Happy thread, thanks @Clawde! That was quite fun. Although all these interactions keep me interested I do miss talking with you! I love it when you come by and leave me a message about what’s going on for you.

How is your new house? Did you ever get your bike mended? Are you able to ride it? Good to hear that you have been to your favourite hardware store, you obviously have a project keeping you busy. 
Sometimes I think it is good to look backwards and say hey I think I did the wrong thing there? I have done just that these past couple of months. It’s not till you don’t have something that you actually realise that you miss it. 
It’s great to hear that you have been very socially active. That’s awesome! I hope that you had fun.

I went to a Church activity a few weeks ago and that was very enjoyable. I hope to go to their next one in July.

Meggle

[Oaktree]

@HenryX 

Oh wow doesn’t time fly? I just looked back and I joined the forums beginning of June 2021. Already a whole year ago! I still don’t know many members. I guess I got a bit wary there for a while. Just starting to get more comfortable now!

Meggle

[HenryX]

Hi @Oaktree 

and other members reading this thread

Thank you for your note @Oaktree . Yes, a few social things happening in addition to singing, though still not able to get back to the residential care beecause of possible health and covid risks.

The last week or so has been frustrating because of difficulties with access to internet - keeps dropping out and freezing. Will need to attend to that. Hopefully, I have found a short term solution, that works for now.

I have found, lately, that I am having difficulty sitting and being active on the computer for any length of time, which is another reason that my presence has been more in the background. However, letting you and others know of my continued interest in what has been happening in the forum. I have also responded to a few newer members.

I am very pleased that you have found our contact and discussions to have been pleasant, interesting, helpful and hopefully reassuring. Your comments are really, very much appreciated. I, likewise, enjoy our 'discussions' and I find them helpful and interesting for me also.

I think that @Former-Member  had been away during the time of my absence also but has been active recently. @Emelia8 , @Clawde , @NatureLover , have posted comments about what has been happening for them and in response to others.

The cottage is comfortable and easier to negotiate than the house where I was before. At the moment I am trying to get myself up to speed in a few areas. Movement is a problem, particularly where balance is required, which makes hanging laundry on the line difficult. So, I have purchased a new heat pump laundry dryer. It uses less power than an element heated dryer and is gentler on the fabrics. That is because it operates by drying the air, condensing out the moisture, then heating the dried air which returns to the drying drum and back to the condenser, in a closed loop system. The reheated air returning to the drying drum is at a lower temperature than an element heated unit. Drying times are about a half again to double the drying time of an element heated dryer. But even then, the power consumption can be half or less than that of an element heated dryer. The unit that I purchased has a five year warranty which is reassuring. So that completes my laundry system.

While I was writing this note, a friend arrived to help me, or more likely the reverse, for me to help him bring the dryer in from the station wagon and set it up in the laundry. That was very much appreciated.

I'm not talking about bikes at the moment because I have not got it up and operational. However, what I mentioned about movement above can be improved by use of a bike. Consequently, I have to pressure myself {gently} to get it going. Unfortunately, the reason to get the bike going is also partly the reason for my tardyness - difficulty of movement.

I'd be interested in knowing to what you were referring with respect to "missing when you haven't got it". I have an idea, but rather than me offering possibilities that may be correct or otherwise, I am more keen to know from you, if you wish.

On Firday, I attended the volunteer function, Saturday, lunch with friends and pick up dryer and yesterday was very quiet. Today, went to the bible study group this morning. We were commenting that the arrangements in this group are more informal and more enjoyable and possibly, more meaningful because we discuss the meanings that can be extracted from the readings. The co-ordinating member offers a draft of the readings and what information and inspiration can be derived from those readings. But our discussion is open and relatively unstructured.

There is value in terms of spiritual nourishment as well as the feeling of community and social connection with others that are aspects of the group that are positive for me.

Well, I shall copy this note and hope that it gets to the forum destination.

The original message did not go. Thank goodnes for the re-load function on the site, so that I could recover what I had written. However, I saw your post about time disappearing, with which I totally agree. I initially joined in 2015, but was not an active member till February, 2021.

With Best Wishes

@HenryX 

[NatureLover]

Hi @HenryX , it's great to see you about on the forums lately! And to hear your news. I'm sorry movement is a problem for you...that's very difficult 😞 Also that your internet is dropping out a lot.

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@HenryX wrote:

The cottage is comfortable and easier to negotiate than the house where I was before.

---

This is such good news! Is your cottage less full of stuff than your old house was? 

Sending many best wishes!

[HenryX]

Goodmorning Everyone

@NatureLover, thank you for your greetings. Yes, the cottage is less full of stuff and much more pleasant to live in. While I still have a lot of sorting out to do, it is not in my living space.

I do have the foundations for a garden in which I am looking forward to being more active.

This morning I got up at about 6.00 am and it seemed to be a comfortable temperature, but now at just on 9.00 I am feeling a bit of a chill. Have to get something warmer on.

Best Wishes to @Oaktree , @Emelia8 , @Clawde , @Former-Member , @Sophia1 , @NatureLover 

and other members reading this thread

@HenryX