Something’s not right
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19-06-2017 01:29 AM
19-06-2017 01:29 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
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19-06-2017 01:33 AM
19-06-2017 01:33 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
Just knowing you get it is enough @Former-Member - the struggle continues for both of us
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19-06-2017 11:19 AM
19-06-2017 11:19 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
Another sunrise, a new day, another night that I have made it through!
I closed my eyes - fearing I would not wake up but hoping that I didn't. How do you continue to go on living with such contradictions and competing thoughts. Every night is the same - frozen from my fears and drained from the turmoil within. Every morning brings with it the realisation I am still alive and the disappointment of having to face another day.
The day that I do not wake up will be the day that I am finally free!
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19-06-2017 11:49 AM
19-06-2017 11:49 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
I hear you @Zoe7. I so very badly wish I could magically heal your anguish. I know how dark the darkness can be and I know how hopeless the hopelessness can feel. I also know that shattered lives and broken souls can be healed...although trying to actually access those supports that can heal is another matter! I have nothing helpful to say...so I'm just going to sit here with you in the darkness.
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19-06-2017 11:53 AM
19-06-2017 11:53 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
Thankyou @Phoenix_Rising Just like @Former-Member - you don't need to say anything - knowing you get it is enough I presume that those two last characters in the nest are not actually touching - as little turtle DOES NOT DO touching
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19-06-2017 11:59 AM
19-06-2017 11:59 AM
Re: Struggling to Survive
@Zoe7 if Zoe needs safe touching then Phoenix_Rising will provide safe touching. But shhhhhhhh, don't broadcast it around - this exception only applies to very very VERY special people.
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19-06-2017 12:01 PM
19-06-2017 12:01 PM
Re: Struggling to Survive
Shhhhhh @Phoenix_Rising - sooooo priviledged - and tears
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20-06-2017 12:52 PM
20-06-2017 12:52 PM
Re: Struggling to Survive
Today began in darkness - another nightmare, another sudden wake from sleep. I tried to pull myself up and get on with the day but the wind began and so did my flashbacks. I do not want to remember and I do not want to feel. I want to sleep but am too afraid - even in the daylight today. So I sit, in silence, with the wind blowing outside and in my mind. I can nearly touch the branches of the tree that sway above me - but they are just out of reach - and I can't pull myself to safety. Frozen in body, frozen in mind, frozen in time! The numbness is only interrupted by waves of pain. Each breathe is a relief and a disappointment. There is nowhere to hide and no-one can save me. I am on my own - I am alone.
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20-06-2017 12:58 PM
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20-06-2017 01:03 PM
20-06-2017 01:03 PM
Re: Struggling to Survive
You are not alone @Zoe7. Connect to yourself and I hope your treating team is able to help you do this, and to feel comfortable in your own skin. I am here and I am not going anywhere. Take a deep breathe and step out in the world- you can do this and I believe in you.