Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I told my therapist what the voices said and now I feel so drained and washed out and worthless and useless. These are my daily companions and I'm so scared of them. They haunt me and feel me with fear.
They tell me to hurt myself and that I need to d i e. That I should. That I deserve to.
But I'm too scared.

[Former-Member]

How can my doctors not think I'm crazy.
How do they take me seriously?
What would happen if they knew what the voices know? Would they still be on my side? How do I live with this? Am I going to be like this forever?

[Former-Member]

I'm feeling super like shit right now and I'm not coping. 

Is it appropriate to curl up under my desk and cry/hide?

[Eden1919]

is there another place you can curl up into a ball and hide/cry? maybe if there is somewhere private then i would say go for it. othere that that well done for telling someone what the voices said i find that is always uncomfortable/difficult to do. but you did it so well done. 

[Former-Member]

I'm in the office alone. I'm not alone at home. This is probably the most private place I have access to.
Thank you for your support.
I'm scared of going back to therapy.

[Eden1919]

i can understand being scared to go back but dont worry they hear all sorts of things in therapy i am sure they wont be upset with you or shocked or anything like that they should just help you to process things a bit that is all. if you are alone then feel free to cry not to say you cant cry in public if you want just that sometimes it is eaiser alone. 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Eden1919.
Do you hear voices?
I just can't cope with the idea that they come from my own mind. It scares me so much.

[Eden1919]

I do hear them sometimes mostly they come as whispers like someone is walking up behind me and whispering into my ear sometimes they are louder but not often. i dont think of mine like that though but that is just me it is a scary concept though that something so horrible can come from inside you. it must make things hard for you. 

[Former-Member]

It means that I'm terrified of.... myself.
What kind of a horrible, crazy, unhinged person am I?
Why would I do this to myself?

[Eden1919]

i dont think you are crazy that is a strong word and i am sure you are not horrible. you dont have to answer this at all so feel free to completely ignore it but what is your diagnosis? anyway you dont seem horrible you seem scared and that is perfectly understandable for what you are going through. i also dont think you are choosing to do this to yourself sometimes bad things happen to good people that is all.