09-09-2018 07:27 PM - edited 09-09-2018 07:38 PM
Tomorrow is World Suicide Prevention Day. A statistic that is increasing dramatically. This is the other side. Us after the loss of our son.
It was the first day of the new year.
He had been at a party. I picked him up.
I thought he needed to sleep.
I never saw it coming.
He was 26.
Loved music. Was in a band. Lots of friends. Lots of family.
Independent. Out of home since 19.
Had moved back home after a breakup.Difficult circumstances that needed time. Just needed to press pause for a little while.
He was on meds. A common anti-depressant. Compliant. He was engaging with a psychologist.
He didn’t have the usual symptoms of depression.
He didn’t miss a day of work. Dragged himself out of bed everyday. Actively socialising.
Now. He. Is. Gone.
His family and friends.
We try to understand. Can’t fathom how this choice was made.
We are broken pieces.
We have been pushed to the brink of despair. We carry on.
This sadness will last forever.
Suicide. No chance of it ever getting any better. A permanent solution.
He gave up everything.
We lost everything.
The future. Birthday’s, company, shared experiences, love and laughter.
And the worse thing is... why weren’t we enough for him to choose to stay ?
Why didn’t he give us the chance to help ?
10-09-2018 10:28 AM - edited 10-09-2018 10:42 AM
@WinterSun - you bought a tear to my eye. Yes, suicide is tragic all round as it passes the pain on....
I have asked the very same questions you did. You did your best for your son and he knows that - he was in a very dark place. Despair begets despair.
More emphasis is needed on "prevention" - I thank you with all my heart for bringing this important issue to light but so sorry for your ongoing pain. Sending a warm hug.
More needs to be done - more funding of mental health resources, hospitals and affordable counselling and care. More focus on mental health topics where people are encouraged to speak up and more about their own mental issues without stigma, shame or feel they are looking weak. When asking someone if they are okay, society needs to mean it and really listen and start to care more. A smile and caring ear can save a life. It's not just a mantra.
There is much talk of prevention but very little done. There is little of that genuine type of help anywhere in reality. I hope this national suicide day brings light to this and that more action to prevent suicide is taken, research into its causes and triggers - mental illness being the main, but also issues like low self esteem, loss of relationships/partners/husband's/wife/children and loneliness being the biggest trigger; abuse, trauma, rejection, financial loss, insomnia/nightmares, bullying and being ostracised, isolation, unemployment, poverty, physical illness/chronic pain and despair with not talking about the inner pain....and worst of all feeling alone, hopeless (can't see a future) and a burden;-
"Understanding and ongoing help focusing on these issues (not everyday normal social chat of ups and downs), but these real painful issues that need to be verbalised and talked through; as when few or more of the combined problems above can push a person over the edge - and the ongoing help needed to prevent the endless grief associated with it.
The pain, the loss, the grief does not completely end, we just learn to carry it somehow and move forward. Just want you to know that I am listening, can relate and sitting with you in care and understanding. 🤗🌹
10-09-2018 03:41 PM
Thank you @Former-Member
Like everyone else we never thought we’d be in this position.
No easy answer.
10-09-2018 04:04 PM
No there isn't @WinterSun, but want you to know that I feel for your pain and care. Moment to Moment, one day at a time is all we can do - our best xxxxx 💖🌹
11-09-2018 10:40 AM
I hear you - I been in the same place - only I saw it coming and was powerless to stop it
But I don't feel like barging in with my son's story on top of yours - only to let you know I feel the same - why was I not enough to keep him here and why didn't he ask me for help - I was there as much as I could be - as you were I am sure
You are not alone - alas - there are many of us
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia