Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Jkate]

@Former-Member

I have just grabbed the audio book copy of the book you mentioned, I’ll have a listen whilst at work. 😊

[Former-Member]

Hope it helps @Jkate 

[Jkate]

@Former-Member. Wow this all sounds way to familiar this book

[Former-Member]

How are you going @Jkate

[Jkate]

@Former-Member

Hey Darcy,  the psychosis is getting worse unfortunately. 😞

[Former-Member]

Oh no @Jkate  is it getting close to the time when CATT need to be called? 

[Jkate]

@Former-Member

My problem with getting them involved is that I have really needed their help in the past and it’s been useless and just made things worse, so may aswell have just kept dealing with it on my own.  My husband is extremely smart and a excellent actor, so he knows exactly what to say and do so that they don’t do anything. 

I dont know if this is just my experience or not with them.  But we have had things friends have told them in confidence and told not to repeat to him, then told straight to him that so and so said this.   It’s been a mess every time. 

[Former-Member]

Feels like a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't @Jkate. 😬 I don't think there is a carer here who at some stage has not felt frustrated with the system. Seems to be par for the course.

Keep sending info to pdoc in relation to social media, hygiene, if he is withdrawing etc even if you query value of this.  Despite your husbands retraction of permission, you are still a valued member of his treatment and care team. It is well documented that collaboration with caregivers leads to better outcomes. It is hard to feel grateful  for pdoc monitoring when motivation and honesty is questioned and recommended treatment is refused.  

From the sound of it your husband is high functioning and if you are interested, there is a bit of information about this on line. There may be a number of  factors in place that are enabling him to be able to manage work. 

Getting a bit of support for ourselves and doing things for ourselves so we cope better is often helpful. This is called 'self care'.  I will tag you in a thread about this. Sometimes  this can involve getting together with other carers or seeing a counselor ourselves. There are a number of mental health support organisations that offer free carer support services (although a lot are now pushing ndis as a lot of their funding comes through this).

Hoping someone else with a bit more experience in relation to this might be able to help you out a bit more than I can. 

[Jkate]

@Former-Member

Yeah really is a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.  

My husband is extremly high functioning, which is what makes it all so hard, he appears to be able to hold together a high level job etc.  which is how he gets away with most things, he is able to say i'm functioning at work, im going to the gym blah blah, rattles off his list and he is out the door again.  The worst part is the doctor knows he is being lied to, has told me that, but then doesn't try to pull him up on it either, so my husband just leaves thinking well got away with it again.  He also knows that the other easiest way to get himself out of things is to say that actually its just 'marital problems', which is what it never was, but its an easy cop out that people who don't know us, would easily believe. 

The last couple of days he has pretty much gone mute towards me, he is still happily tweeting inapropriately, but just going straight to bed when he gets home, only to get up to eat and back to bed again.   Keeps saying he is 'sick' and his brain is finally broken, but i can't get him to go to a doctor, not even just a normal GP. 

[Former-Member]

 @Jkate  

@Shaz51 has a similar but slightly situation with her husband and doctors.

It is really such a worry when we see things starting to deteriorate. Remember that Sane has a support line with trained professionals if you need to speak to someone.