Lived Experience Forum

[Toki]

So its been one of those weeks. 

I do a lot of respite care and general home upkeep. So I rarely go out or have an agenda of my own at times. I find myself emotionally exhausted, and generally, just burnt out from it all. Some days, I can't find the right words, and I even lose my thoughts mid-sentence. I find it hard to focus on anything for too long, and sometimes, I can't remember what I had made for lunch the day before. 

There are moments too, when I'm looking for something (such as a water glass, a particular vegetable, etc) and I may pass over it several times before I realize that its there. I'm beginning to fear for my well-being and mental health, and I wonder if there is anything I can do to improve this setting. 

I'm doing it for family, but I wonder, how much is too much? When should I stop, when should I put it off, and when should I jump in to help? Again, I'm providing respite care for a family member, and he is high functioning. Is there any advice, suggestions to mentally recharge, have a mentally-healthier setting, or even if I should still be there, but not as much? Any sort of feedback will be appreciated.

Toki

[Mazarita]

Hi @Toki, I'm on my way towards logging off just now, but saw your message. Just thought I'd let you know you might get a more helpful response to your post in the Carers Forum. Kind wishes.

[Neelix]

Hi @Toki thumbs up to carers such as yourself. A versatile role and people who work in the carer industry have exceptional interpersonal skills and energy. Did you know? that carers 'burn out' in 2-3 years. They experience all the above you have mentioned. I would suggest 1. de-brief method eg. talk with another carer and offload, write like a progress report somewhere to offload. 2. Learn a grounding strategy 3. Let others do the job too 4. Monitor your sleep, diet and exercise 5. Find a way to express 'why you do it' (that sounds weird I know but often carers need to sound board why they have compassion, empathy and love for others) 6. Map your routine to gauge and set boundaries of how much work you do. I'm sure there are others but I can't think of anymore. I use to be a disability support worker before I became unwell so I kind of know a little of what your mentioning. Thanks for all your efforts for people with a disability. Have a cool day 🙂

[Toki]

@Neelix #5 is something I haven't done (written down on paper yet), so I'll give that a try. I've had to try to find my own way through this and so having a second opinion about this (let alone some good advice) is such a sigh of relief! I haven't had much support on how to handle respite care and it tears me apart sometimes, but I've mostly come to terms with it. I'll try to put these into practice, and see if it improves my mental/emotional health. Thank you

[Toki]

@Mazarita I'll give that a try thanks

[Shaz51]

very god advice @Neelix 

Hello @Toki, @Mazarita