Lived Experience Forum

[john74]

I really need to talk to someone

[PeppyPatti]

1. Dear @john74 

The most important person in this is you.

Do you have friends or family who will take the drive and can visit? 

I get it that you are hurting bad my friend. It’s a horrible time and I’m so so sorry this is happening for you.

But…..life doesn’t stop, do you think that we can get together and think about a plan of action for you?

have you somewhere to go? 

Maybe…..could you think of a friend or a family friend who you can talk to on email or phone or could someone visit you ? 

Would a familiar face be good for you to see? How do you feel about catching a bus to where you lived? 

What could you say that you could feel comfortable with ? 

Is there anything for you when she leaves you to spend the day alone? 

[john74]

Hi @PeppyPatti no she doesn't leave anything when she goes we don't even organise meals any more she is either no hungry or not home.l am not in contact with any family due to my marriage breakdown in late 2022. I tried to discuss it earlier but all l got was l don't know about us. She was the one who suggested moving in together to save money now she regrets it but l shifted some distance to be with her. She is going away camping tomorrow with her sister and we were originally going together but now l m not allowed to. I feel so depressed and down and shafted. I thought l could trust her but obviously not.

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @john74 

I apologise, I can read a little unfeeling sometimes but please know I’m trying to work out the best direction for you to choose in the short term.

Im also a woman and I truly believe in stuff that you might have a giggle at. 

If moving is going to be tough: you will need to get your smile on your face and say, okay…..

”You are just going to have to suck it up for a certain period of time. “

[PeppyPatti]

Sometimes it takes people a very long time to realise they have behaved badly. Only in years to come can you tell them,

“You-behaved atrociously during that time.”

Today, can you have a long shower, shave or whatever men do to look awesome and then sit down and write your options down for the short term, medium term and long term? 

[john74]

Thanks @PeppyPatti l appreciate what you are doing. It just Hurts so much because l love her. I do plan on applying for other rental properties l m also not sure if she is seeing another guy she claims not to be but l now don't trust her.

[PeppyPatti]

Dear @john74 

You can only be the best you can be. 

Even though you are going through an awful time ....  

And it is terrible ....

You sense of you is important for you to hang onto. 

Tell me some positive things about you ? 

[john74]

Hi @PeppyPatti I just can't think of any good things about myself atm it's so hard being alone with no one to talk to and especially on a long weekend. 

[PeppyPatti]

@john74 

It's really difficult. 

You have been through enough. 

Do you like watching television ? 

Are you able to just....have a think about one short term goal ? 

[john74]

Hi she has messaged me and confirmed it's over