Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

hi @Jacques, he does lots of them , sneaks up on them, using macro , filters , he uses Pentax

[Jacques]

Oh my goodness @Shaz51, he must be so persistant, i have often thoughtof getting into photography, Pentax, good brand, does he use digital or old school 35mm film?

[Jacques]

Hi all 🙂

i have really pushed myself today, i have done things today that would have been unthinkable for me to do 6 months ago, i helped a family member with her car, plus i went on my weekly outing, i am shaking bad now, have chest pains and am not able to go to sleep because so much adrenaline is pumping through me.

I am doing my breathing excercises now, and trying to relax my muscles, i thought i would distract here and write down how i am feeling, i feel relief the day is over, everything went fine, but i am not used to helping people, not used to having so many people around for a whole week and i am starting to lose my voice because i am not used to talking, my throat is sore too. 

even though i live with mum we don't talk very often and can go a whole day without saying a word to each other, we are not angry or upset with each other, we just have nothing to say. i suppose that comes from being together everyday for 34 years.

anyway, i am hoping hwen i do go to bed i can sleep and not wake with panic attacks.

i feel as thought i am in the middle of a cyclone and am getting swept away by it, things seem to be moving out of my control and comfort zone, i have felt really uneasy this year, like something bad is going to happen.

sorry for the long post, just gettign some thoughts out of my head.

Night all 🙂

Jacques

[Mazarita]

Hi @Jacques,

Great that you can express how you are feeling in this thread, thanks for sharing here. Awesome that you have been able to move far out of your old comfort zone this week. I hope you can get some time in the coming days to process and absorb what you have achieved and let yourself feel some good about it when the adrenaline has settled down. Glad you have remembered to breathe and consciously relax muscles while feeling acutely distressed. 

I think sometimes when we are pushed out of our comfort zone as you have been so far this year, darker fears can arise in response to the unfamiliar stimulus. I hope your unease relates to something like this rather than premonitions. I have quite a few people in my life who believe in that kind of thing, but I try to be more logical in my approach for the most part, especially if I am feeling paranoid in any way. It's one of my coping mechanisms and does seem to help me, even if it doesn't remove the feelings of dread completely.

I really hope you get some peaceful rest tonight and feel better in the morning.

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Shaz51

Thankyou for letting me copy the photos to shoe my oldest son.

He is talking most days to me these days....it's been a while coming but I think he will really like the photographs and hopefully kickstart him into his creativity. 

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Jacques

How are you? I have quite of few things to tell you my friend but first ;

It feels you may be a very little similar to my husband....in that.....change for him brings on .....the thought of doom.......

Does this feel like a very little bit what your describing? Good on YOU for extending yourself though. Hard work........

I try and be always positive, it is difficult for me to see it. It's like....maybe for you, you could think small positive thoughts?

This might not be relevant or not but @Arcacia wrote to @Chris on a dream she had on her thread,  called "Annoyed with myself,"

at the beginning of her thread about the ocean. What @Arcacia wrote rang true for me......it was about the ocean and the sea, something I used to do a lot of art on. 

 

@Chris wrote about her dream and then...@Arcacia a

writing I may think ;

You may see a little similarity. I can in my little life.....

 @Chris of course, is amazing for being able to explain herself in a dream. 

I dont have @Chris's permission to write about her thread........

Next message I will write about what happened today for me.........

Anne 

[PeppiPatty]

@Mazarita ypu can write exactly what I was just trying to write to @Jacques.....

@Mazarita I am very bad at looking around the forums...I like to stay small in my littlee life but if you and anyone else has time,  can you check out Chris thread called Annoyed with Myself

Thankyou,

You have a gift on writing patient messages. 

[PeppiPatty]

@Shaz51

You husband is one talented man.

The place I went to get help at ( to go on Disability pension ) is called this; In Western Australia;

Disability Services & Care Organisations ( the Disability Options Centre)

They called Centrelink. I didnt need them thought but they will help you and others. Missing out by 2 pionts is a joke; dont you think??

[PeppiPatty]

dearest @Former-Member

I went to see a friend today for support. Thank you. I gotta sleep but just writing thankyou to you......

Good blessings to you. for tomorrow 🐵

When you wrote I think you need a hug ...to me.....I felt it......

So, please give your children a secret cuddle from me again.........

Love Anne xx

[Terry]

@PeppiPatty nice letter.  be careful not to overshare at this forum - it's public space.

be aware that you can only control yourself and HOPE for a desired outcome in another's behaviour x