Living with Ourselves

[tonys]

@Sophia1   Thanks again Sophia.   Yes all those different threads,      So far i can only reply to letters sent to me and that takes me to another thread.   I've tried to answer the odd desperate

letter on the home page, but dont get replies so i might be missing something.  I replied to one that was 2 years old a while back without realizing.     Now I know where every one went ,  other threads..     Thats cool..

I do have numerous pairs of reading glasses all around the place,  and small print does escape me.

A nurse came out re the ribs and i ran all the stuff passed her.   she explained to me the bulk of people that write to me,   work for sane forums.   any way,  after a good yak with her,   and your  kind words,   and apples ,  I'm feeling o k again.

The doc i saw in the city recently made up cards for me to show people,  when appropriate,  because he feels my level of autism is quite high.   Im  hanging on to my drivers licence, but

They have saved my rump a few times.  ....  Guess thats why I warn people .  He says  " I feel too much"...      

NOW,   the important stuff ,  I can glean from a few scraps,   that you have major challenges of your own,!       I cant tell what they are,  cant see the other threads,  but i reckon by now you know,  if you ever want or need to tell me anything,  I"LL Drop my tools,  and I  do like to listen, ....    and write.

Or  maybe one day you just need an escape story ,   any way with all thats on your table,  I give thanks for your time.         Feeding time at the Zoo,    bless you mate Tonys   mb1

I  

[maddison]

🌲

[Sophia1]

Thank you for your supports @Emelia8 

i will try to get back to you soon

Sending you a good book to read

Your choice of a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallow on the side.

I sent one to Exoplanet earlier.

Idea just popped into my head

Hoping that you are managing some sleep.

A gentle hug for you

I love hugs

Good night

Sophia1

[outlander]

just wanted to send some love @Sophia1

[Sophia1]

Thank you @tonys 

I have done that myself reply to the first post I see when I sign on as something reaches me.

I have had a couple of replies and some not.

Some people want to actually chat which does not work for me as I am on here less.

It also takes me forever to express myself.

My younger son tells me that I take too long to say anything.

He lives in a fast world.

Text messages with one sentence.

you might enjoy Friday night feast thread. That is one way to meet people.

There is also good morning that is fast moving and very brief responses.

I am pleased to hear that you have a  nurse checking your ribs.  That is a big impact on your body so slow down a little. Yes I know I sound like a mother.

Great that you were able to talk to the nurse about how you were feeling also. That would be more grounding and helpful on the day. 

Creating cards to show is brilliant. I have often thought of doing that myself out of frustration. I have a very soft tone voice.

Throw into that formula people not listening can be infuriating.

I don’t work for Sane.

After people have been on the forums for a period of time they can request to become a community guide. There is a certain time of year when they advertise.

This does not suit me commitment wise and I am more at ease replying to people whom I want to.

As far as my current challenges in the real world I have shared little as a way of escaping from them if that makes sense.

@Appleblossom knows more about my situation and has an understanding from within her own life.wWe have known one another for several years now.

Thank you for the kind offer though.

Possibly into fantasy land every now and then might be better for me.

Certainly more fun
I can fly somewhere trying hard not to singe my wings.

Well Ihave written another book.

It needs proof reading I find it hard on my phone.

Pleasing to hear also that you are feeling better than before.

That is why checked in on you tonight.

Sorry about the overall tone.I am very tired and drained myself

Sleep well and take care my friend 

Sophia1

Goodnight

[Sophia1]

That is lovely thank you @outlander 

It has been heavy going here and in real life

I am very drained and need sleep

sending you some love e press post

I cannot type properly on phone

especially when tired

goodnight and take care

will send you a message soon

good igbt

Sophia1

[tonys]

@Sophia1   Thankyou for your tips re joining other threads.   Hands are to big and slow for fast moving forums and i get nervous about writing people that havnt sought my contact first.    My imagination and black humour , is  not everyone's cup of tea  so unless some one invites it,     I wont persist in offering it.

If i think someone is drowning and no one has helped them yet,  or if some one offers a different point of view,   "politely" ,  I try to respond in kind.   But your suggestions show,   you care and i thank you for that.   Without thoughtful feed back ,     how will  we grow...?  

Re your difficulties .  I only do what any one on sane would.  Let you know we are here.    I can see how busy you are , so I only write to you in response to your letters .   I know you have a superb network of support around you already and wont add to your clutter unless called upon.

Thanks again for your thoughtful advice,   letters and support

Hope you are  as well as you can be and i wish the very best outcomes , for you and your challenges.                             I good faith      tonys  mb1

[maddison]

   ☀️

[tonys]

Hello @maddison .  I'm very nervous about writing now,  and i dont think thats how it meant to be.  Youve sent 3 letters so  In the bush,  if a hand is offered we don't brush it away.     To be clear,  i'm fine with constructive criticism,  polite advice,   and  actually enjoy  respectful debate ,  ,   and a mature  logically explained ,   different opinion.       The line is,..... when it gets personal.    Please  please.. take into account that i am autistic and the computor hides that from you. !!!   

The first paragraph of your letter sounded like an apology,    The short comings in  my  I Q

left me confused about the second paragraph. . . .     8   people fall to suicide ever day.   75% of them are men.

2   of them in my street last year.......   I wonder how much they felt.     I can only tell you that I 'feel'   heaps mate and will never assume your or another's feelings.    Was the letter about your feelings.....  

Any way you actually  don't need to apologise at all .    People with autism,  have a   need for things to    ,{  Fit...}

Things with out logical explanation and conclusion,  messes with.. some ..autistic peoples brains .... big time..  This got to me way more than i thought it would.....     No one ever explained to me why you would post that.....    'I have your phone number".....   and am not a real person unless i pick up the phone and call you....  and what bothers  me, ....         I  know the system.....   No one ever will,  explain the motives here.

I read my posts an poem over and over .   there is no joke in it or ill intent ,  My Rn couldnt see it either.....   I read your ....phone call ....post over and over .  Politeness  was missing.... and i cant find where i invited   hostility..

Because i don't  understand only means,     it will only happen again...     I will be nervous of every word i write to you for fear of an eruption.    and your  mental health and your job comes first.

This forum is meant to be about  heeling ,...   for me ,  some pleasure and an outlet,   contact  with some one other than people at work.     

I always did say when i joined that there needs to be a chat room thats  set up for people with intellectual disabilities and advanced levels of  autism...etc..  such as myself...     moderated by specialists in that  field..     Hoping sane forums gets the hint and I will be first to join..Maybe you could suggest it to them. 

    If some one knows of something like that,  i would be forever grateful if you could send me some info   

 I know you have enough good friends on these forums,  that you don't need to risk your mental heath or job,  corresponding with me

You take care of your self Maddison.     I'll stick to what i do best, ... ploughing the paddock..  

Yours    with the very best intentions ....  tonys

[Sophia1]

Hello @tonys 

@I wrote a book in reply and thought no headache in the making

My struggles with son are out of my control and I do not like to offload at the same time I feel as though I must respect him..

I do not have as much support as you think..

 Interest in me can wane as people migrate to other more frequently populated threads..

How can you support me?

Tell me about your interests.. start a conversation..

I self isolate in real life so am starved for interesting conversation..

You will be supporting me in this way.

I have always been independent to a certain degree and am not good at asking for support..

Does that make sense?  

Friends

Sophia1

ps I am fascinated with cemeteries and lives in the past

love history

and much more