Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[TideisTurning]

Hi @saltandpepper, I just wanted to drop by and say that recovery is very individual. I've found it to be kind of like a wave, with lots of ups and downs. I've sometimes thought I was going well only to find myself falling when the wave took a dip. But, I've also learnt that the wounds inflicted by the bad experiences can become scars given time, and sometimes good experiences that counteract the bad. Healing is possible. Holding hope for you that the wave you're on will turn upwards soon. 💙

[saltandpepper]

Hey @TideisTurning thanks for dropping in, just wanted to let you know I'm ok--in case that post came across like a cry for help. I guess perhaps my interpretation of "recovery" is this miguided concept that things will some day be... not painful, not a struggle. Maybe it is possible to achieve that, I don't really know. But if the past few years has taught me anything it's that for me, recovery is perhaps learning to better manage those storms when they approach and survive it rather than drown in it. And you're right, it comes in waves. And it's not constant as it used to be, that's an improvement. But I guess I accept that the past has shaped who I am and it will continue to impact my life no matter how well equipped to deal with it I become. I'm just reflecting on everything really, post break up. Perhaps cautiousy seeing things from the other side and wondering how damaging it may be for someone to be in a relationship with me. I don't feel emotional about that thought, just thinking. And maybe it's ok that I am this way and maybe it's ok to be on my own, maybe it's the healthier option. Maybe that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I don't know. We'll see I guess, it's all still fresh.

[Emelia8]

I hear you @saltandpepper  with regards to a lifetime of trauma.  But please never give up hope of a recovery of sorts.  I know its different for everyone.  But the minute you give up on the hope of recovery is the minute you stop trying and therefore shut down any chance of recovery at all.  Keep on hoping, keep on trying ... never give up.

Hi @Anastasia .. hoping your day is a good one and that your Boy has another good day too.  So good to hear some positives for him over the weekend.

Emelia 🌺

[TideisTurning]

No worries @saltandpepper- I just got the impression you might've felt a little stuck in terms of what 'recovery' should be but I really appreciate you clarifying just in case and sharing more if your perspective and contemplative insights with me. I can see you've been thinking a lot about it, and that's cool. That was kind of my point too- recovery is different for everyone, including what it means and how it looks, though both of those things can change. It sounds like you're at one of those points now, trying to re-figure out what it means and how it might look going forward. I wish you all the very best in that journey. 

[Anastasia]

👋👂👀🙏 @saltandpepper 

Hi also @Emelia8 💕

and anyone else here 👋

[saltandpepper]

Thanks for chiming in @Emelia8, much appreciated. I guess I see it more as acceptance rather than losing hope or giving up. But having said that...

@TideisTurning it hadn't really occurred to me that perspective changes. And it's most likely my perspective on this will change at some point in life too--to what I'm not sure. But that gives me a bit of hope, so thank you. If I think about it, if someone were to go back 5 or 6 years and tell me I'd be here with my own business and living relatively free from what was crippling anxiety, I'd never have believed it. Things have changed. Things that I never even thought were in the realm of possibility, so I need to keep that in mind. Thank you @TideisTurning that insight has really helped.

@Anastasia how is it going today? Hope things with the boss went well. Have you spoken to/seen your son today? Have been thinking of you and look forward to hearing how everything has gone

[saltandpepper]

Hi @WIP how are ya?

[Anastasia]

Hi @saltandpepper 

Didn't get to talk to boss, his first day back in a fortnight and other priorities sadly. So no sleep likely again tonight. 

My boy is like a bull at a gate. Trying to buy time. *Sigh. 

Things slowly coming together 🙏🤜🤛

Still at work. Hope you are ok, sorry it's all about me but need to run to get home before it's too much later. air high fives to you and hugs to anyone here that wants one 😃

[saltandpepper]

Ah what a bugger @Anastasia would've been helpful to get the boss talk crossed off the list I reckon. I'm sure it'll all be OK though.

I think that's a really good sign your son is so eager to leave. Do you think he's feeling some motivation to move forward in his life given he's ready to knock the doors down? Seems like a positive thing to me, I hope that's what it means. I feel hopeful for the both of you.

How'd your day go aside from the boss thing?

[Anastasia]

I actually don't think I can take much more