Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[SupportSister]

Dear forum members,

I have been watching these forums from the sidelines for some time now, reading through advice, hoping it would help me assist my sister's battle with various mental health issues that she has faced since she was 11 years old.

Unfortunately, last week at aged 27, she passed away, ending the battle herself.

After notifying the local mental health team, they have now arranged for the area manager for mental health patient quality and safety to visit with me some time next week.

Has anyone experienced this before or know what I am to expect?

Without going in to too much detail, the last few weeks I have been in phone contact with the local mental health team, expressing concerns for my sister's wellbeing, however, their only means of contact was via a phonecall to me every few days to check in. I requested they come out time and time again to assess her etc but nothing ever happened. They simply encouraged me to get her to her private psychiatrist appointment and see what she thought of her mental state.

After a previous attempt by my sister last year, the local health team also 'discharged' her from their community services less than 3 months in as they thought she had 'integrated' back in to the community successfully.

Nothing will bring my sister back, however, I want to make sure this team is made aware of how they have let her down in not providing adequate support for her and ensure this does not happen to anyone again. 

How do I best prepare for this when we have only just had the funeral for my sister?

Blessings and love to you all xx

[Former-Member]

Thank you for your post @SupportSister. We're so sorry to hear of your loss.

It sounds like your sister fought a long battle and did the best she could to keep fighting. It also sounds like you too did your best to seek support and advocate for your sister in her battle.

Dealing with any loss can be so difficult and we all respond differently to grief. I think it's a good idea for you to sit down with the mental health to discuss your sister's care and I recognise that preparing for a conversation like this can be tough. However, this is your opportunity to ask the questions you need and seek some clarity in order to begin to make sense of what has happened.

I encourage you to advocate for yourself, consider your own support needs at this time and think about who you can draw on for support. You may consider talking with your GP about getting a referral to a counsellor, or if you'd like to chat to someone over the phone you can always contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

We send our sincere condolencs for the loss of your sister. I hope you can find some comfort in getting some answers, but know that perhaps some questions can't be answered, or at least at this stage. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

Please take care.

[Former-Member]

@SupportSister

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

When having a meeting it is important to have in mind an outcome that you are seeking, to focus on the issue and to be open to listening.

Do not feel under pressure to resolve everything in one session, ask for a follow up meeting if you feel it is needed. As @Former-Member said there may be some questions that cannot be answered.

Darcy

[Former-Member]

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@SupportSisterwrote:

Dear forum members,

Nothing will bring my sister back, however, I want to make sure this team is made aware of how they have let her down in not providing adequate support for her and ensure this does not happen to anyone again. 

How do I best prepare for this when we have only just had the funeral for my sister?

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I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your sister @SupportSister🌹. Very good advice above - what I would add is the option of you writing to the Federal Member for Health and his Shadow Minister stating how the mental health system let your sister down. This lack of care and essential public mental health resources can be due to a lack of Govt funding and is a very big problem in the community costing lives. I am so sorry your whole family was let down. Sending a warm hug 🤗 x

[Former-Member]

Hello @SupportSister

I am so sorry to hear of such a tragedy with the sudden loss of your sister..

You were there for her for support and this she would have known...

Is there someone in the family or a close friend who has some understanding of mental illness..

you would be best having an advocate with you..

The Office of the Chief Psychiatrist in your state needs to be alerted to the lack of assistance other than phone calls..also that she was discharged from their services previously...

mental health Australia..carers health Australia as you were her carer..any of these organisations should be able to follow up..offer assistance or direction

I would go to the office of the chief psychiatrist first..

please find someone to be with you

if you are not up to this after such a short time with the funeral..

you can advice that you will be back in contact but need time to grieve with family..

document everything including names..dates 

set a meeting time that suits you not them..

if you are up to it let us know the outcome..

we are here to support you

take care

[Former-Member]

Mental Health Carers have an advocacy service, not sure if they could help @SupportSister

[Former-Member]

How did meeting go @SupportSister?

[SupportSister]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice.

I am still waiting to hear from the Mental Health team manager. No meeting has been arranged yet - I guess I really shouldn't be surprised. A contact from the local health team has said there is a 'legal' issue surrounding the forming of the panel which has caused the delay. Apparently, things will start this week.

My dad has been in contact with his solictor regarding my sister's estate etc. and they have suggested we request a coronial inquest in order to bring to light how the public mental health system let my sister down. I'm just not entirely sure what this will involve.

[Former-Member]

@SupportSister
Sending gentle thoughts your way.

[Former-Member]

Checking in @SupportSister