Lived Experience Forum

[NewbieBipolar]

I am definitely having a hypo manic time today/tonight.

since only being 2 weeks diagnosed I haven't recognised it before.

I gave all my spare energy out to Father's Day yesterday and was probably down or depressed until this point. I thought I would feel exhausted today but Today I'm on fire. I've tried studying and working and can't stick to either. I decided it was a great idea to start a million piece lego project with the kids at 8:15pm  when they should be going to bed 🙈

my legs are jittery. I danced to 2000's dance music on my own in the kitchen. I feel high as a kite and it's nearly 4am and I can't sleep. 
My minds racing and I know I should sleep but I don't want to! 

so yep, finally accepting I have bipolar is interesting 🤷‍♀️

[Dimity]

Hi @NewbieBipolar congrats on your self awareness. And those highs can feel so good. Being aware is halfway to making plans for higher highs and lower lows re staying connected and taking care with decision-making and maybe consulting re meds. Be kind to yourself atm and in the letdown - stay in touch with your supports - we're with you. Welcome aboard. 

Dimity

[PT14]

@NewbieBipolar 

Hi there, haha your post made me laugh coz yep- I know that well! Really, if you look at it, Bipolar is a hoot- one minute I'm simultaneously legit making plans to revolutionise education, I'm writing 8 pages on my novel (been working on that for 20 years lol), half cleaning my cupboards but being distracted by the books I found in them, listening to three podcasts and also setting up my painting coz I'm just "so inspired right now" - and then the next minute I'm in the feral position in the shower and wanting to just fade into nothing.

You get used to the internal monologues that tell you you need to save the world but also that you are worth nothing and don't deserve to live!

I mean, keeps you on your toes if nothing else hahaha! Make a movie about a day in the life of someone with Bipolar I say! 

But seriously, welcome and I hope you feel safe here. I just joined too. I've been diagnosed with bipolar II for 10 years and depression for 10 before that. 
Just know that you have every right to experience every feeling, ride every low and high in your own way- don't put any expectations on yourself and do what works for you. It's a bloody crazy adventure, and you know what- it's not all bad! ☺️

[PT14]

Hi @JungleGiants 

I'm not a Kanye connoisseur- I knew he has it but I didn't know he sang about it!

That line is an interesting one... I guess how one looks at it might depend on the mood or the day... as we certainly appreciate living with this diagnosis don't we!

I actually do see it as a blessing a lot of the time- I have come to know myself so well and in turn understand other people and how they work a great deal more than many people I know. The hard work you do to manage yourself can help you so much with other people I believe! 

[JungleGiants]

@PT14 yeah i have a vivid memory of listening to that song on the radio and thinking about it; really only listened to him on the radio. 

I think thats a great way of looking at bipolar, I certainly try to help others a bit more now, both in work and personally. Also learnt the hard way to look myself more so I can do that. 

I have a mixed reaction to that line sometimes, especially because kaynes such a divisive figure in these recent years. But yeah definately depends on the mood or day on how you can react to it. . 

Carrie Fisher and Lily Allen have great books about their journeys if you like reading. One of Carries fiction/memoir books Postcard from the Edge was turned into a movie with Meryl Streep, about her stay in rehab. 

[Shaz51]

Hello @cerseigirl , @JungleGiants , @PT14 , @Dimity , @NewbieBipolar , @Owen45 , @HenryX , @rivergal , @Olga , @Mazarita , @greenpea , @frog , @Sophie1 , @Meowmy , @citttycat , @eth , @Strivetothrive , @Appleblossom , @Nance , @Klutz , @SJT63 , @Kermit , @ItsMeAgain 

[JungleGiants]

@Shaz51 lol.

Theres a good doco on sbs right now on mental health/suicide prevention, oshur gainsberg is hosting it.

[Olga]

I am reading his book "back after the break". I have to look for the doco. Thank you for the recommendation @JungleGiants

[greenpea]

@Shaz51 @Olga @JungleGiants @PT14 @Dimity  and everyone good to see everyone here. I can see the sun rising with a sunny blue sky greating us.  Love to all of you may you find peace today. Love peaxxx

[Shaz51]

Hugs @greenpea ❤❤

@Olga , @JungleGiants what did you think of the Doco last night ??