Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

Awwww @Corny  ... thats sooo gorgeous!

here for you my awesome friend

[outlander]

Hi @Corny
Sorry i didn't reply sooner. I wish i could say life was better but it seems all aspects of it are worsening and its becoming harder all the time to try and manage everything between mental and physical issues,invasive testing,prep for upcoming surgury, caring roles,family and finances and im sure the list goes on 😖😖😖


Im glad you seen your friends and had an understanding chat with another. Its really good to hear you have that support.

Yes i was much the same when i was in hospital. It can be hard to witness others distress along with managing our own. I guess thats is the point of having nurses and other supports avaliable 24/7 hey. Yep informed patient who are involved in decisions (where possible) seems to help ease distress and anger as well.

Hoping today is ok for you though,otherwise you can come join me in the 'wishing i didnt wake up today' kind of day.

[Corny]

I'm sorry to read @outlander that you aren't doing great, and that you are getting pressure from all angles. You have a very stigmatised condition and battling ignorance would also be very draining on you, not to mention self stigma. 

Sometimes being in a mental health unit is sort of like watching racism unfold, or being in an episode of Orange Is The New Black. There's a similar hierarchy of prejudice, judgment and bias. Just because someone has a mental health condition doesn't mean that they are in any way sympathetic or understanding of yours. Sometimes, quite the opposite. I was listening to some inmates talk in the dining room from the drug and alcohol ward and they were very affronted and insulted that the ward is attached to mental health. It peeved them off no end when their psychiatrist suggested that there could be some underlying MH issues underneath, that need to be addressed. And this guy said something like, "we don't have any mental health problems we just don't know how to live". Its almost like some D&A patients want absolutely no association with the MI patients and being here has exposed them to people that they find beneath them. There are other patients that have enough humility to see that everyone in the hospital is struggling with coming to terms with the stigma and judgment from the outside world, and we don't need more of it in here! I don't think that there is a sad story underneath every addiction, often there is, but not always, I think sometimes it is pure addiction and there has to be some biological reason why some are more susceptible to it than others. Just like Traumatic Stress. Heaps of people experience trauma but not everyone will develop a disorder from it, there's clearly something very wrong/different with my genes brain & biology. But its really interesting watching how people internalise their reason for being here and the lack of understanding there is for complex mental health conditions. Even trauma, some people just don't get it, especially with what they would assumingly categorise as 'social anxiety', but really, is a hair trigger reactive nervous system resulting from domestic abuse. Its not that I can't sit in group therapy because I am shy, often, its because of the tension between patients. Just the slightest threat of tension between two people and my nervous system is in fright-flight-faint, its that flimsy. I'm sure you have experienced similar tensions in group therapy. I think when the dynamics are good, they could be very therapeutic, but they can also be disastrous. I can't handle tension and abrasive personalities, I have to be with people that are gentle and calm. 

I hope that you sleep well tonight @outlander. It sucks having bad days, but all we can do is ride the waves and start again tomorrow. It's easy to say that and very hard when you have real, practical stress and pressures that effect MH like financial insecurity and family problems. 

What you need tonight @outlander is a cuddle coma! 

Corny xx

[Corny]

I'm so relieved to know that you are comatose Miss @Former-Member. It's what we all need. 

I hope that the you are travelling OK, well, as best as can be expected. I beat myself up some days for feeling so weak with my cPTSD, but being in hospital does soften your perspective on the state of your own mind and health. It's amazing how severe someone's PTSD can develop to be, even from just witnessing or diffusing violence between others, and not actually having it inflicted on them directly. It makes you realise that it is a small miracle that we are alive @Former-Member warrior women.

Cuddle Coma Corn xxx

[Corny]

Thanks @Maggie, I love animals and being in nature too. I went to Wendy Whitely's garden the other weekend, it was so lovely and peaceful, I think that you would really like it. 

Hope that you have rested today and have a furry animal by your side,

Corny xx

[Corny]

Thanks @Shaz51 for your support Community Guide. 

I am here in the honey moon suite and I have just etched my initials on the back of the wardrobe with a fork from the dining room, should you ever need any accommodation @Shaz51 I would be happy to put a word in for you at concierge. 

The sheets have been a little bit noisy, but that's my only complaint, I am very grateful and humbled by the support.

Corny xx

[Former-Member]

Oh @Corny ... I do so love your wonderful sense of humour, re your post to our lovely @Shaz51. 🤣😊 At the risk of sounding a little corny myself ... you have the 'corn'iest humour. And I love it. I wonder what your actual laughter sounds like? Or if you ever even have occasion to laugh? I hope you do. 😊

But on a more serious note ... you are so right in what you say about PTSD. Warrior women indeed. You have always had terrific insight into your MH issues. At least it seems to me that you do.

Okay will lapse back into my cuddle coma for now.

Meanwhile here are some lovely 'corn'flowers just for you. Hope you like them, and that it somehow brightens your day there in the hospital.

Sherry 💕🤗

[outlander]

Morning @Corny
I haven't seen orange is the new black but I understand what your talking about. the longest ive stayed in hospital is a week (7 days) and it was only a small ward with only around 6 beds in it while I was there there was only 3 others but they came after I was admitted and generally stayed for only overnight or up to 3 days so I didn't really see many of those dynamics between people however I have seen it outside the ward.
i am shy however what stops me doing groups is my anxiety and also that judgement. even though we are all there for the same or similar reasons it can still be a hard environment to be in. it just makes me really uncomfortable . kind of like it making things worse rather then better.

are you still currently in hospital or have you been discharged? i know they are talking of another admission later in the year but forgive me i cant remember if you said your still at hospital

[Corny]

Oh @Former-Member thank you for those beautiful flowers. I would love to have a garden again one day and then I could have a hammock under the cherry blossoms and be in a cuddle coma with my women and 2 pups all day long and also have an open fire.

I just want you to be reasssured that I have a very small global foot print by not owning a car and always try to keep my environmental crimes to a minimum, so you can forgive me that little luxury if you'd be so kind. I love chopping wood, it gives my little chicken wing arms a bit of a Sarah Connor look eh @Hope4me 

I am still in the honey moon suite @outlander , I'm doing my part to keep spirits up in the fort behind these here walls. When the doctors and nurses get down and blue about the state of psychiatry I remind them that they managed to cure millions of people from homosexuality in 1973 by removing it from the DSM. There's still a few mental health patients unmedicated & lurking in heterosexual marriages, and I think that we could do a community outreach program on Grindr and at the local Netball fields but as a whole, all I see is sunshine and progress in psychiatry. 

I hope you are all warm and toasty, I am so glad it is finally raining.

Corny xx

[outlander]

@Corny