Lived Experience Forum

[TheJuZShoW]

I am going through waves of grief. My Grandmother passed away 6 years ago and it still hurts. We were very close. I miss her so much. I found that this sort of grief never really goes away.  I hold onto all the good memories I have had of her and sometimes that does help. But then all you really want to do is do nothing. But just let the pain pass as tears stream down your face. Life is and everything in it is not the same. It just makes me feel very sad. 

[wellwellwellnez]

I've got a grandparent like that. We had a pretty profound influence on each other and my life took some challenging terms, both when he got unwell and when he passed. I'm glad I got to keep some of his art.

I've also been talking to him a bit more lately. Maybe, with all the changes going on, some of us are consulting our ancestors. (ironically for me though, because he was generally too atheistic to go for that sort of thing (when I do commune with him, my impression is usually him reminding me of the "real world")).

[MDT]

Hey @TheJuZShoW
I am thinking the same when it comes to hurt. Those we love are gone and we don't know how to process it.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through waves of grief.
Life is beautiful but also it has tragedy.
@wellwellwellnez

[HenryX]

Hello @TheJuZShoW 

I understand that feeling of grief never really going away. As another member said,

"We never really get over the grief that we feel when a special person has left our lives, but we generally do learn to live with that grief."

In a way, I believe it is a matter of working out how that special person would wish and encourage us to live our lives.This seems to be in line with what @wellwellwellnez is alluding to, with respect to their grandfather, with the comment:

"when I do commune with him, my impression is usually him reminding me of the "real world".

My mother passed away nearly 3 years ago. She lived with me for 10 years before she died. I am still recovering. Part of the process of recovery, for me, is to consider how Mum would like me to continue with the life that I have. I, in turn, have others for whom I am a meaningful part of their lives and I believe that I need to live the best life that I can for them.

I do not know if there are other people in your life for whom you are special. Would you care to talk about any other people in your life, whether they be family or friends.

It is definitely true that,

"Life is and everything in it is not the same."

Though it may bring some strong feelings to the surface for you, you might like to look through the thread "Trying to stay Sane" in which @Anastasia has described her recent experience. Each of us experiences these events in our own particular ways. So when we read of other people's experiences, they give us ideas that we can either accept, adopt or allow to pass, in accordance with how we are responding to the events in our own lives.

With Care and Concern

@HenryX 

[greenpea]

@TheJuZShoW  I have grief over a death which happened about 6 years ago ...it is still raw and I dont think I will ever get over the loss. Take care my friend. Know that you are not alone. Love to you greenpeaxx

[cloudcore]

Grief is hard to sit with @TheJuZShoW, I hear the pain you're feeling to this day 💛

You mentioned that holding onto the good memories sometimes helps, I'm wondering if you'd like to share a good memory with us?

cloudcore ⛅

[TheJuZShoW]

@cloudcore I remember the time where she used to take me to the beach and allowed me to jump off teh sand-dunes when I was a kid. The time's where we helped old ladies do their shopping because they couldn't do it themselves anymore. I remember the times when she told me not to put my elbows on the table. I remember one time she and my step Grandad came down to Melbourne for short while to visit us. I remember the drives to her place on some weekend and holidays. I remember the knitting she did. She'd donate what she made to other charities. But yeah the Christmases were a big thing for our family.