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15-01-2022 09:11 PM
15-01-2022 09:11 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
Hi @Shaz51 and others.
@Shaz51 I’m sorry you didn’t feel like eating dinner😢. I hope by now you’ve managed to eat something, no matter how small as you need food to help keep you healthy, especially mentally healthy.
You are definitely one of the most caring, thoughtful, respectful, honest, nicest people I know and I’m so glad to have you in my life! Don’t worry about what other people say about you being too nice. That’s a great quality to have and I’d be proud of it! I find you to have lots of knowledge on many different topics and I love how you willingly share it across the forums to so many different forum members and groups. That’s special and don’t you fidget it!
As for being a people pleaser, I will admit that I’m known to engage in that behaviour at times, especially around times of conflict which I’m scared of. Sometimes , I’ll agree to something just to keep that person happy or to get some peace and to avoid any negative consequences, like more arguments for example. I do however, often feel bad for doing it because often I’ve made the other person happy at my expense which hurts me as well in the long run. Does this make any sense at all? I do find it hard to stick up for myself around people in authority and people I don’t know as I’m scared they’re right and that I’ll only get into trouble if I challenge them or the situation which goes back to my childhood trauma of living through domestic and family violence as a child. Again, I think this also has something to do with my mental illnesses as well to be honest.
I hope I’ve provided you and others with some helpful things in this discussion!
Take care!
Judi9877☺️💐
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15-01-2022 09:35 PM
15-01-2022 09:35 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
The irony for me was that ... I thought I was independent ... but in fact I was a dreadful people pleaser and was not aware til recently.
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15-01-2022 09:39 PM
15-01-2022 09:39 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
Hugs and thank you @Judi9877 xxx
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15-01-2022 09:40 PM
15-01-2022 09:40 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
Yes me too @Appleblossom 🥰
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15-01-2022 10:09 PM
15-01-2022 10:09 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
Well ….. beyond the discard @Jynx, but still ensnared and fighting my way out of the briar patch …,.
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16-01-2022 08:02 AM
16-01-2022 08:02 AM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
Hey @Judi9877
I can relate very much to what you wrote.
I get scared of a confrontation or fight. So I agree. This is the case with my controlling and manipulative mum. I’m sure she’s a narcissist.
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16-01-2022 04:42 PM
16-01-2022 04:42 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
I am a fawner @Jynx 😀
Hello @BlueBay , @Faith-and-Hope , @Appleblossom , @Judi9877 , @Dimity , @Zoe7
We got through morning tea celebrations this morning with 8 of us around the table on the patio, no aircon but had 2 standup fans going full blast
After a few left after morning tea
The rest of us (5) of us went into mum's room with the aircon on
Sometimes it is tricky trying to please everyone all at the same time which you can not do but all you can do is your best
My cousin complained the most , and she left after saying happy birthday but that is ok
Think my mind went into overthinking too much about today beforehand
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16-01-2022 05:32 PM
16-01-2022 05:32 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
I’m so glad you got through this morning my sis @Shaz51
and yes it’s hard to please everyone
Rest up my lovely ♥️ Xxoo
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16-01-2022 06:22 PM
16-01-2022 06:22 PM
Re: Are you a people pleaser?????
@Shaz51 I'm glad it went so well. Your family is very lucky to have you as a peacemaker and chief celebrant of family occasions. Please take that as a huge positive. It's too easy to doubt yourself and be negative about what makes you different when it might be in fact your greatest gift.
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16-01-2022 06:26 PM