Lived Experience Forum

[Anastasia]

Hello dear @NatureLover 

Oh I am so sorry to hear this! What a shame. I'm hoping that she let it all out and next catch up will be full of positivity and feel good moments. You deserve that.

Love and hugs x

[NatureLover]

Thanks, @Anastasia .

Am getting the feeling your tank is low...is it usually low at the end of the week? I really hope you can rest and refresh over the weekend... Do you have anything social planned with your family? 

I have my psychologist appt today! After 5 months without. I always type up my issues I want to discuss, so I did that on Tuesday. She reads through and then offers her input. I am so lucky to have a psych that lets me set the agenda. 

You said your psychologist is also on maternity leave and you were looking for a new one...is she not coming back after a few months away? 

Good luck, always thinking of you @Anastasia . 💚

[Anastasia]

Hello my dear friend,

@NatureLover 

You are so intuitive, yes I'm quite depleted on many fronts. 

I am having lunch tomorrow with my oldest son and will see his apartment. I'm excited about that.

Mum and Dad over for dinner tonight, not sure what we'll have yet.

Ohhhh i am excited, finally the day is here. You are so organised and I love that you give her your list! What a fabulous idea! 

No thought around mine, to be honest I was in two mindsets as to change anyway so I'll investigate options. At the moment I'm doing ok but that could change in a heartbeat so I know I should get on to it.

Best run my gorgeous friend, it's another ridiculously busy day with work.

Hugs and love and will have you in my thoughts as always ❤️

[NatureLover]

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@Anastasia wrote:

yes I'm quite depleted on many fronts. 

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I'm sorry to hear, @Anastasia  although I think you always run close to that line, as you have so much on your plate 😞

How was your dinner with your parents? So glad you can do that again now! How is your dad doing? (No worries if you'd rather not talk about that, it might be upsetting?)

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@Anastasia wrote:

You are so organised and I love that you give her your list! What a fabulous idea! 

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It's not just a list, haha, it's everything all typed up as if I was speaking, and prioritised in order, but I express myself better on paper so I prefer to write it. Also, I can write little bits over the month before I see her, to remember them. I reckon it's quicker than trying to express myself verbally. So yesterday I gave her 5 pages typed in size 12 font! (But quite spaced out on the page) Admittedly I hadn't seen her for 5 months so there was more than usual. She read through the whole thing then commented. She said my OCD had obviously worsened, which I had written - I'm even doing lots of counting, which I don't usually do. She said I needed to work more on accepting that we will all probably get Covid at some point from now on. 'Accepting' is the key word. I'm just so relieved she is back working.

Oh @Anastasia ,  I'm concerned that you don't have a good psychologist lined up and that it may take many months to swop to someone. But I know you find the SANE Helpline really good and have a favourite counsellor there, so I'm thankful that you have that. 

Enjoy seeing your older son's apartment today over lunch 🙂 I reckon it makes a difference being able to see someone's environment and imagine them in it.

Take care, I hope this weekend you can get enough rest including mental rest. Much 💚

[Anastasia]

@NatureLover 👀👂💐☕💛💚☀️

Love and hugs 💞

[Anastasia]

🙏 @NatureLover 💛💚☕

Thinking of you at work today and sending love 💕

[NatureLover]

Thanks, that's so kind of you, with what you're going through @Anastasia ...

I'm not up to work today, hence at my computer to read your struggling post. I'm glad I was. Am here for you to support you as best I can dear friend. 💚

[Anastasia]

Oh @NatureLover 

Are you ok sweetheart?

I'm here for you, to listen.

I'm ok.

He's awake and we haven't spoken yet. 

I will have a lunch break with him and I guess I'll let him know I trust his decisions and I am here for him and that I need to allow him to make the decisions. 

I am lucky he talks to me, I can't jeopardise that. Even though he lied he tells me a lot. Anyway too much for me right now. If like to focus on you if that's ok? 

[NatureLover]

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@Anastasia wrote:

I am lucky he talks to me, I can't jeopardise that. Even though he lied he tells me a lot. 

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Yes, it really struck me how much your boy trusts you, to tell you the truth. 

I understand it's too much for you at the moment. Plus you're at work - in your new office at home with the nice light, I assume? I hope there's some sun today up there. What did you think of your older son's new apartment?

Not much to tell from my end - I woke up feeling like I wasn't coping, and got up to have a coffee but went straight back to bed. Been fighting to be OK for work, but it didn't happen. The SAD bites again! This is all very normal, nothing to worry about from your end. It makes me a bit unreliable at work, but they know about the 3-month constant SAD. I'm so lucky they're so understanding. Not long now till November! And it means I can take things slowly today, no pressure. A laundry wash and some reading...I can lie down for both. Plus a short walk...no sun, but some expected this afternoon I think. 

I hope your work day goes OK after no sleep...sending wishes for what you need, when you need it 💚

[Anastasia]

I'm sorry @NatureLover I didnt get a tag so I'm sorry I am only responding now.

I can't respond further I am literally drowning and just want to resign today and tell them all to do it themselves.

Sick of being everything to everybody.

My headspace is not geared for work today at all. 

Love and hugs and sending positivity and sun  to you for a day of self care. 

Hugs always xox