Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Stepmum]

Hi everyone, I stumbled across Sane in search of someone to ‘talk’ to as I’m now finding life very stressful. I have a stepson with mental health issues - anxiety and depression (he is 40) He has now lived with us - could not hold down his job and ran out of money. We tried to help him financially to start with but it became too expensive for us so the only alternative was for him to move in with us. I already have a son at home with a milder form of the above. Both are now on medication and doing ok - but none of them is showing any sign of wanting to move on and find a job! We are pension age and want our life back - talking seem to fall on def ears. Suggestions please anyone. Thank you for listening to me.

[greenpea]

@Stepmum Hi Stepmum welcome to Forumland. I do not have direct experience with what you are going through although I do have and adult daughter and son living with me some what younger than yours. They both have multple mental health issues. Maybe, this is just a thought, if both them are doing well and are on the right medication etc. you could make it less comfortable living with mum and dad.

Do they do chores around the house? Washing? Ironing? Gardening? Shopping? for you. If not that is a must as far as I am concerned. Are they going to Centrelink regarding finding work? That is another must ... a rule if you like whilst they are living with you.

The thing is mental illness can take some time to get over ... one might look like they are alot better on the outside than what they really are. I know from experience. It really can take alot of time for the mind to repair itself. You dont have to be to forceful just baby nudges to begin with and see what transpires.

gp

[Jupiter]

Hello and welcome to the forums @Stepmum

Life does sounds stressful for you at the moment - having to look after others at a time when you should be enjoying having time for yourself. @greenpea has some good suggestions. Sometimes setting expectations and boundaries can also be helpful in redeveloping independence and self-worth.

I'm glad to hear that both your son and stepson are on medication and doing better. Sounds like you have provided a safe and supportive environment for them during their struggles.

Take care.