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Life After Bushfires

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Hi... first post... struggling ..

hi all. I’m not sure what this will do for me, but I needed to tell someone. This is my first time using these groups, I found this advertised on FB. I lost my home in bushfires on NYE. I nearly lost my life defending someone else’s home. I thought I was dying. I have struggled every day since. I can admit my anger is out of control towards my beautiful wife who try’s her hardest for me. I don’t have anything that was once mine anymore all my life history gone. My family has turned against me over grant money they weren’t eligible for but I was. My life has been falling apart all year, but I have so much trauma from that night. I’ve lost everything but my wife and children. Which I nearly lost. Some days I can’t even eat. I know I need help but being the man of the family I can’t exacly take the time off work to get the help. 

I’m sick of the men don’t cry attitudes. 

I cry all the time. 

I take long showers to cry so no one can see. 

I stay in my car for 10 minutes after work to clear myself up before coming home. 

This is never ending for me

21 REPLIES 21

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

Hi @IamNOTalone  welcome to the bushfire forums! 

First off, thank you for taking your time to share with us. It must be hard. 

I’m so sorry with your experience with coming so close to losing your life. 

Your wife and children still have you and you still have them. I experienced similar on the same NYE. 

I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. 

Its ok to cry. It helps it really does. Bottleling up emotions doesn’t get us anywhere. It sounds like you really need a break too. I hope you can get some time off over this new year. 

Thank you for admitting your anger issues. 

The first step to changing, is acknowledging. 

Are you able to seek help with your anger issues, or have you found any thing that helps them?

my husband has to physically leave- to calm himself down. 

I have to just burnt out in emotion (by myself, preferred) 

thank you for sharing your story tonight. I’ve been reading a few posts tonight and glad I came across yours so fresh, so if you’re still online I would love to chat further with you tonight. 

 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

@Burnt thanks for replying so soon.

i find I am

getting worse with the anniversary coming up. 

No one cares enough about me to help or anything. Just another brick in the wall 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

@IamNOTalone  Welcome.

 

My heart went out to you as I read your post. I could hear your pain.

 

I’m so sorry you have lost your home and belongings. It’s no wonder you feel like you are falling apart.

 

I can well imagine the anniversary bringing everything back.

 

Grief is a very difficult emotion to understand, but it always follows lost of any kind.

 

I hope eventually, you can find someone to talk, cry and yell this through with.

 

Here and listening, any time you want/need to talk.

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

Hey @IamNOTalone

Thank you so much for sharing so openly and with such courage and candor As a few others have mentioned here, please know it's ok to cry and let out the emotions you're experiencing. To my mind, it may actually help to challenge those attitudes by letting others know it is ok to let it out, though I also recognise that letting others see this display of emotions is something it takes a lot of courage to do.

As far as the anger, I'm wondering if there is anything constructive you could channel it into? I know of a few people who like to release through exercise or gym visits for example. 

I can also understand how these feelings may be intensified by the anniversary of the fires approaching. It sounds like you've got some great techniques to release with the shower and a little time in your car though, and I'm wondering if you've had any thoughts about what might help you through riding out the wave of this upcoming anniversary? 

Feel free to keep posting and we'll be here with you to lend a (virtual) shoulder and ear. 

TideisTurning

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

Hi again @IamNOTalone , how has your week been? 

 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

Thank you @Maggie . I took a couple day break after admitting this. Weight off my shoulders. It’s just so hard 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

Hi @TideisTurning thank you for your reply to me. I do wish I had time to Chanel into other avenues, I’m afraid I never get time. 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

@Burnt feels better now I can admit to myself where and what I need to change. I wish there was more assistance from our government tho. We are abandoned 

Re: Hi... first post... struggling ..

I feel you regarding that. I think we can all say we feel that. 

Abandoned

forgotten 

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