Life After Bushfires
16-12-2020 12:13 PM
1 week and a half untill Christmas. The dreaded anniversary is coming up for me, I just can’t be excited over Christmas knowing what happened last year.
Is anyone in the same 🚣♂️
16-12-2020 12:28 PM - edited 16-12-2020 12:28 PM
Yes @IamNOTalone when I was in town the other day and saw all the Christmas stuff around I wondered how many would be coping during the next few weeks after last year
16-12-2020 03:12 PM
Anniversaries can be hard. For me with anniversaries, when I know it's coming up, it helps me make a plan to get myself through it- there is a little more discussion on that here if you haven't joined in already and would like to. 😊 But the other thing I feel like is important is to know that it's ok if you're not feeling ok or Christmasy right now. The emotions around anniversaries can be hard to sit with, but I've found it really important to give myself permission to feel what I'm feeling and do whatever it is I need to do to get through when things like anniversaries arise.
16-12-2020 04:33 PM
@IamNOTalone I feel you on that one. I believe it’s normal but remember to remind yourself this year is different.
17-12-2020 11:14 AM
@IamNOTalone Sorry to spam you replying to three posts in a row but I feel this.
The start of summer was the hardest for me, when the weather started heating up. I guess at the moment, with the anniversary on NYE coming up . . . I'm anxious, but I'm also so ready to let it go. I've spent a lot of time talking about my feelings and emotions, working through them, and releasing them; It's a LOT of work, but it is worthwhile.
Of course it's not a magic wand. I'm still afraid. I still feel that fear in the put of my stomach. And it breaks my heart hearing so many in my community still struggling, with their minds as well as the world around them (e.g. those who don't have homes, or those who got help but it's not enough). It';s been one hell of a year.
-Keep letting it out. Keep talking to people. Release it however you can, whether you see a counsellor or talk to a mate, or even us here. Don't let it fester.
-It's okay to feel how you're feeling and it's SO understandable; so many are in the same boat. Instead of I guess beating yourself up for feeling like this . . . be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
-Make a self-care plan. I had a counsellor who suggested on days I know will be hard (e.g. the anniversary of my dad's death) to make a plan. Whether that's honouring your experiences by maybe taking a walk through areas with the fuzzy green growth and just breathing, whether that's writing a poem or a journal and releasing everything, whether it's music, art, or anything you need to help. And then making sure you have space to grieve, as well as making sure you do stuff that fulfils you and helps (e.g. using the example of my dad's death, I will listen to his voice, remeniss about the good, let myself feel the grief without judgement, be gentle and let myself feel how I'm feeling, I might go for a walk, breathe deeply, cook a nice meal, take a bath, read a book and do other things that help me feel good).
Do you do anything like this? Or do you think this might be helpful? (PS sorry for the essay!!!!)
21-12-2020 10:08 PM
It resonated so much with myself and the self care tips genuinely feel like a great action for me to take.
its hard with me with my children, finding time to do what I need, but making plans around anniversaries is a great idea. I loved how you wrote this “essay”, it was really soothing. I hope @IamNOTalone feels the same.
04-01-2021 08:11 PM
Thanks @Daisydreamer I’ve been so busy. Has kept my mind off things, but so much needing to be done you get me! I hope you are well x
08-01-2021 11:45 PM
I’m okay. I’m sad that I didn’t end up spending NYE with my community because of COVID... but at least relieved the date has passed, and we aren’t on fire... so that’s comforting, at least!