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Life After Bushfires

Burnt
Bushfire Community Ambassador

Car accident

first off, apologies for being apsent for a few weeks. I’ve been down in the dumps. I have no social energy left, so have just focused on surviving each day. I am even running out of “looking after my kids energy” it sucks to admit that, but I am. You can’t pore from an empty cup, and boy am I empty. 

I feel I need time to myself. It was my husband’s and I anniversary the other day, and I need to share what happened. 

We knew we needed time to ourself so we booked in babysitting nan. We celebrated our anniversary with dinner and drink. Now I am keeping this vague as to not upset myself, our plan was to go out to our bush “home” and have a romantic night. 

Well, that didn’t happen. We came across a car accident. At first we thought it was just someone on the dirt road ran into the gutter, not to big of an issue. But no, the pore girl had rolled her car. She was ok thankfully and her animals. She had been drink driving. Now I know we should have called the police, I HATE DD. But we have called the police for this exact thing before, a house break in, and a man bashing a women to near death, someone with a machete attacking someone and NEVER has the police come. 

Where we live there is kinda known, police only show up if they are booking people speeding. It just didn’t even cross out mind. It was 2am, on a back track dirt road. We are just lucky she was ok and knew no one would come to help, so it’s up to us. We spent our night dragging her rolled car out of the gutter, rolled it down and off the road, and helped her. Took her home (ruining our romance but oh well) and fed clothed and gave her a bed. Her phone was flat and she was lost. My husband then drove her home in the morning 1 hour away! Then he had to work: 

what sticks out to me in sharing this is how shocked I was. we where so close to coming across worst case scenario. 

But what sticks out is she kept breaking down (rightfully so) 

And kept telling me how sentimental this item that is broken was, how sentimental the car was. When I kept trying to reassure her by how I understand. She just kept saying “no you don’t” 

i then shared the story from when I crashed my car, I truely get it. 

And she says “it’s just not the same aye and you don’t get it. It was sentimental” 

I was reframing from sharing about our total bushfire loss- and the obvious sentimental loss. 

But she would r stop. I ended up losing my shit. We went out of our way to help her and I don’t want to be lectured and how I don’t understand. 

I told her we lost EVERYTHING you could ever think off. I get what’s it’s like to lose sentiment so don’t you dare tell me otherwise. It’s just a car, not your life or your animals lives. 

It sucks yes but atleast you got everything else. 

You can replace. 

 

Im just so down that the one night we get a break and get to have some lovers time- we spend the night at the scene of an accident and I spent the night trying to tell her shit happens. We all lose and we all move on be sad about it we all deserve our emotions but don’t be little or disregard someone else’s loss. 

I ended up getting a lift around 3am back to my kids. I just needed to hug them tight. 

 

2 REPLIES 2
jay2
Senior Contributor

Re: Car accident

Dear Burnt, Well done. Just to hug your kids can do wonders..Hope you soon ,feel better able to cope, from the pain that life has thrown at you. jay2

Re: Car accident

Oh my goodness! What an intense night @Burnt! Good on you for recognising that you were somewhat running on empty and taking some time out for yourself and I love that you recognised and acted on the need to go hug your kids tight too.  

I imagine it'd be really disheartening to have someone seeming so ungrateful after the way you and your husband had stopped to help so generously from the goodness of your hearts. I hope you're able to have something of an anniversary redo at some stage! 

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