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Welcome & getting started

Re: Not knowing which way to turn

You are so lucky to have a partner, spouse.  

Re: Not knowing which way to turn

@Live22 .. 

 

Whoops  Sorry... my bad on the gender bit.  The Trap is female-focused on supporting domestic violence. 

 

If you are the hubby, my advise is to try the local relationship counsellor as well, and also look after family mediation. 

 

It really does not matter what gender you are.. make sure you have quick access to a recording app on your phone, you are keeping notes and you are also taking time to reflect on decisions and what is really driving the root cause of the decisions.  

 

I am actually curious about what happened when you disciplined the kids, would you mind telling us what happened, what was the response and then how your wife intruded to overrule you?

 

 

Re: Not knowing which way to turn

Yes, I'm in the same situation @Live22. She just locks herself away

Re: Not knowing which way to turn

@AussieRecharger 

 

Thanks for the further advise.

 

As for discipline, most times I'd be looking for the kids to stick with their family chores, but over time some of them worked out that they would do chores in their own time or not at all. So when it came time for me to reinforce the house rules, often it would be met with push back then when I try to re-reinforce my spouse would jump in a put me down in front of the kids & I had a tendency to walk away as it would get too heated.

 

This created a pattern where I looked like the weak one and she was the only disciplinarian.  

Re: Not knowing which way to turn

@Live22 @Carlo @AussieRecharger @Owen45 @Appleblossom 

 

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the questions of gender status are immensely complex. I was going to "these days" but I think it's more accurate to say they always have been. Come to think of it there's a lot complexity around child/parent status as well.

 

I think what you describe is something that happen in a variety of religious situations (me going out on a limb again). I'm reminded of a Yogi thing that I read once where the Yogi talked a lot about how because people change the key to maintaining meaningful relationships is common values.

 

Or maybe I should say "axioms". I was learning about axioms the other day. An axis is where you stand and what you believe. An axiom is who is standing there and why you believe. So that makes me think that our axis is how we "ally" with others and our axiom is how we "relate" with others.

 

We've all got our own axioms but they're still based on the same core fundamental elements of existence. So everyone's axiom is going to have some degree of difference and similarity. But we're better when we're honest and true to our axioms either way, especially the parts we share with our others.

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