Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[shewolf]

Hi.

I didn't know where to start and I guess, this is a good place to begin.

It's been a rough year. I was hospitalised earlier this year myself with a feeding tube (recently diagnosed with ARFID and a "mood disorder"). But the real reason I'm here is for my partner and father of my kids. He has been suicidal this year and started SH for the first time this year. He's currently going through psychosis and it's been hard. We don't have much family support at all and the financial stress of both of us not being able to currently work is taking it's toll as well.
I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest as there's not many people in my bubble that truly know what's going on.
To be looking after two young kids, while trying to better myself after my own diagnosis and carry the weight of my partner as well. I guess I feel incredibly stuck and unsure on what the right thing to do is in this situation.
Thank you for reading.

[hanami]

Hi @shewolf 

Welcome and thankyou for sharing your story. Gosh that's a lot for one person to go through, let alone in such a short time. I really feel for you. Do you have any type of mental health support for yourself? I think that's super important. Looking after yourself first so you can make sure you have the energy for the rest of your family. 

I hope some others reach out with some ideas for you.

Warmest regards

Hanami

[Ilovepenguins]

Hi @shewolf, welcome to the Sane forums, this is a great, safe place for you to unpack your experiences and seek support 🙂

I'm really sorry to hear about your difficult circumstances right now, you've shown great strength to reach out to the forums and thank you for sharing your concerns.

I know in my experience, my partner was referred to family and carers support through community mental health. Do you feel as though this might be something that could be useful for you to be able to seek more personal and focused support? 

We're here for you @shewolf 

~Ilovepenguins 💚

Quick tip, if you tag me with an @ and Ilovepenguins, I'll be notified and can respond to you much quicker 😁

[shewolf]

Hi @hanami - I don't know why but for some reason this small act of kindness and understanding towards me just broke me (I cried reading your reply but I swear it was for good reasons). I think because everything has changed so fast (but feels so long at the same time) I haven't had much time to really take it all in.
I was seeing a psychologist for a little bit, the one who diagnosed me, but due to financial reasons we can't afford it right now. I completely agree with you that I need some support so I can be the best for my family, especially my children, but it's just not an option at the moment.

My partner does have support which is good though - he has access to a free social worker, a psychiatrist he sees once a month for his medications, and a psychologist that his parents pay for which I'm definitely grateful for. So there is that!

I've recently been looking into returning to work but I find the thought of leaving my partner alone while he's going through this to be a lot, and I don't feel comfortable to be honest having him look after both of the kids at the same time by himself - so we would need to organise childcare and OSHC but that's another expense. 

Sorry... I feel like I ranted a bit here.

[shewolf]

Hi @Ilovepenguins I'm not sure - I did receive an email from an organisation called Encircle but it was for an invitation to an annual general meeting. Is this what you are referring to? Sorry for my ignorance.

[hanami]

Not ranty at all @shewolf !!! That's what we are all here for. I'm glad talking has made you feel a little better. xxx

[Ilovepenguins]

Not ranty at all like @shewolf, just like @hanami said 😀 but it's ok if you wanted to have a rant as well!

There are no ignorant or silly questions in my eyes, no need to apologise!

I had a quick google on the organisation Encircle, and they look to be the kind of organisation you may need for some more family support, "We can help you access a range of diverse programs including a confidential interview with the Intake and Response team to assess your individual or family support needs." This is a quote from their website.

It could be that your partners social worker could refer you or they may take self referrals? I'll include a link for their website at the bottom 🙂

I completely understand your concern around leaving your children in your partners care, it shows you're putting their safety first which is commendable. 

With you both not working at the moment have you looked into the child care subsidy that might be able to make childcare more affordable?

[Ilovepenguins]

@shewolf sorry i forgot to copy that link in!

https://encircle.org.au/pine-rivers-family-support/

[Valiant83]

Hi @shewolf adding to the welcome messages - it’s definitely the place for off-loading … and ranting … and crying and smiling … and finding some hope.

I’m relatively new (a few weeks of reading and sharing) so can appreciate the relief that comes when you realise there are people all around who understand!!

One of the services I accessed when my adult son was living with me (he was about to become homeless and his mental illness was not yet diagnosed) was Carer Gateway https://www.carergateway.gov.au

It’s a national service and has a whole range of (free) supports available.

I laugh at myself a bit now because when I first contacted them I was still in shock, denial and distress and didn’t think I deserved or needed the full range of help they were offering … I’m a bit stubborn like that … other people need this more than I do, surely I shouldn’t be receiving this assistance when there are so many women are needing this help more than me!!!

I was so wrong, and their gentle assistance made such a difference … it didn’t change what was happening but it certainly contributed to me managing myself better, and the situation with my son started to make sense … he was already a complex bundle of random joy, disability, anger, kindness, child-like naivety, and chronic disease (Type 1 diabetes) … the diagnosis of Personality Disorder was yet to emerge, that only happened after he was admitted to a specialist clinic.

I’m now so very grateful they allowed me to choose the kind of help that fitted the immediate need, and in my own time choose more assistance.

Your family is so lucky to have you as their rock … remember to be kind to you 💜

[tyme]

A warm welcome to the forums @shewolf !

Glad you have been able to open up and share about what’s been happening for you. It certainly sounds hard.

How are things going for you?