Lived Experience Forum

[Astra]

Where to start? 

I have only been diagnosed recently but something has not been right ever since I can remember. It feels empowering to finally know why I am an achiever with zero interpersonal connections. I have failed in almost every relationship I have ever had. Family,friends, lovers etc. 

I am sure it all started with being a daughter to a narcisstic and abusive mother.
Doesnt all BPD flourish in such an enviroment? 

[bipolarbunny]

Hello @Astra  lovely to meet you, welcome to the forums. You've come to a place where there is a lot of support and hopefully you will find it a safe and healing place as I have. 

I too am a daughter of a narcissistic mother, and growing up with such toxicity and the early childhood trauma totally crapped on every friend & relationship I've ever had in my life too, so I can identify with you there. 

Have you read the book by Karyl McBride called Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughter's of Narcissistic Mothers 

I highly recommend it, it is written specifically for daughters of narcissistic mothers and is extremely informative. My therapist recommended it to me and reading it was a revelation. I finally felt like I wasn't alone in how I felt. 
You mention BPD, so I'm guessing that was your diagnosis? I'll tag in another member @BPDSurvivor who may be able to relate and help you navigate the BPD waters. 
I have bipolar and c-ptsd, and of course I'm happy to support you in anyway I can with regards to having a Narc mum. 
Welcome again to the forums, feel free to share your story in the Our Stories Thread 

Take care and just sing out if you need help navigating the forums. You can tag me in by putting in an @bipolarbunny xx

BB 🐰💙

[wellwellwellnez]

I'm liking your self-awareness. Pretty good for just diagnosed and self awareness is great for personality stuff.

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Astra ,

As a survivor of BPD, I still continue to have struggles with relationships. From the outside, I seem very social and easy to get along with, but inwardly, it is an immense struggle.

I want to have relationships, but I am so fearful of doing it 'wrong'. I'm afraid of being hurt. I'm afraid of hurting others. However, I don't want to live alone for the rest of my life. I feel like a big imposter in life.

It is something I continue to work on. But yes, I do agree relationships continue to be a challenge for borderlines.

I guess these forums are a starting point to build some trust in a safe space?

What do you think? It would be good to hear your thoughts.

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

How are things @Astra ?

Just checking in to see how you are.

[Owen45]

Hi, I am Owen, South West Sydney. Looking forward to discussions and peer support.