Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

I agree @Kayj

One is " why me  ' and then my mind says ' why not me ' @Lauz

[Lauz]

@Kayj - those are difficult feelings, amazing to be aware of and take notice of here - but I imagine not fun to pay attention too either. I think this would be a very common fear for a lot of people. 

Finding a mindful practice you like might give you something to break that thought process up. Noticing things earlier and then being mindful of your breath, thoughts, body to get ahead of negative feelings can be useful. 

[Kayj]

Yes definitely. Fortunately I can usually use strategies and it's not often I feel that bad.

[Lauz]

I wonder if a mindful or grounding activity could be to list all the postive sentences that you could replace that thought with - then when you are mindful and aware of high stress moments, you could reach for that list? Sometimes having a mantra or positive affirmation to say to yourself to become mindful of your stress building can be a good grounding technique too. 

What's a positive sentence/mantra you might like to use to ground/get present with @Shaz51 @Kayj and anyone else?

[Lauz]

Some ideas for positive affirmations to ground you or your loved one could be ‘we move forward with love’ or ‘we will embrace the downs to make room for the ups’. Feel free to drop in any other ones you think you and your loved one may enjoy together as well. 

I'll move onto our last discussion topic in a sec guys! I know things get a bit quieter as we get a bit later into the night hehe!

[Shaz51]

@Lauz, @Kayj, @SA64, @Adge, @CheerBear, @Former-Member

I think of the times when he is has good days , and that I love him and my mum who I also care for 

[Lauz]

A lot of carers will speak about the negative emotions that are expressed to them all the time by their loved one.  While we do our best to support and travel alongside our loved one through it all, it is very trying to not take their pain on board to the extent that it stops us from feeling positive emotions. A useful aspect of mindfulness practice is the practice of letting go.

‘Trying to control or avoid worries or other negative thinking…..can sometimes strengthen this negative experience rather than diminish it. Mindfulness is one way of skilfully disengaging from or letting go of negative thinking.’- from the Centre for Clinical Interventions help sheet here

As we finish up the evening, what is a thought that comes up in our relationship with our loved one that would be helpful to let go of and relieve some negative feelings or thoughts that we take on?

[Adge]

Sounds like a very good strategy @Shaz51 Sorry, I've been too tired to contribute much - since early on. Plus trying to cook & eat dinner in the middle of it all. I've been following (reading) everyone's posts. Adge

[Lauz]

No need for apologies @Adge - lovely to have you along for the journey tonight in any form, posting or watching! 😉⭐️

[Shaz51]

Hugs @Adge