Lived Experience Forum

[-karma-]

Can I ask please....

what are your observations of children (possibly no adults, or adolescents) with a personality disorder diagnosis, and the relationship with mothers that (may) also have PD?

[astrengthinever]

How fantastic, I would so love it if she ever came here to Australia to hear her speak. I love her book and I think she is one of the few that truly the nightmare both parties often go through. And her advise is invaluable. The perfect fit... For me anywY.

[Pipkin]

sounds terrible that BPD is lumped in with narcissitic and antisocial.
I have been labelled with BPD, but it is just related to perfectionism and never feeling good enough and setting obsesseively high standards.

[BlueButterfly50]

@Raven

This is a great question.

When you feel that impulse and you want to follow through, you have to stop and breathe, then breathe some more.  long, slow breathes.  Put a pause between the reaction and the response.  Do not react to a situation, just stand still and breathe and wait.  This will help your body to calm down so your brain can start to think and make a decision you won't regret.  I used to email people when drunk and reply when drunk and got myself into all sorts of bother.  Then when I got an email I kicked up about I would just close the computer, go back to it when I was calm and read it.  Usually it was not as bad as what I thought.  

But let your pre-frontal cortex take charge, that is the centre for impulse control.  There are brain exercises to help strengthen and develop this part of the brain.  It takes time and practice to learn this.  It is not easy.

[BlueButterfly50]

@-karma-

Wow that is the most difficult question of the night.

I don't want to do any mother bashing here.  As parents we all do our very best, and no-one sets out to damage their children.  We all want the best for them.  And your parents did the best job they could under the circumstances with what their parents taught them.  Generally authoritative parents are the best, ones who listen and talk with their children and explain what emotions are and that it is ok to be angry but not ok to have a tantrum.  Parents who explain things to children and accept all sorts of questions.  Parents who punish kids for having emotions tend to not get the best response.

[BlueButterfly50]

@Pipkin

Men tend to be diagnosed with APD.  Having APD and NPD is like BPD, it presents duifferently every time.  Poeple with personality disorders are not ar*seholes.  People with PDs are very caring and sensitive people with emotional issues for various reasons.  Having a diagnosis does not make us bad people.  I cannot stress that enough.  I too had to be perfect but now I am happy to be good enough.  I wish you well.

[Angel]

Thank you everyone for sharing information...it has been great

[astrengthinever]

I agree completely

[CherryBomb]

And that brings this month's Topic Tuesday on BPD to an end.

Tonight's discussion was huge. We covered so much ground. But I think the main take away lessons here are that BPD is a mental illness that doesn't mean it's a death sentence. You can live meaninful lives, you can treatment, and you are not alone, and most of all you are not abnormal.

Thanks so much to our guest Sonia Neale @BlueButterfly50

[CherryBomb]

if you are in Perth and interested in attending a BPD support group offered through United Care West contact  Sonia.neale@unitingcarewest.org.au.

BPD consumer support Group is on every Monday 2-4pm except public holidays.

My BPD consumer support group is at Uniting Care West, 56 Baltimore Parade, Merriwa, Western Australia.