Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JMRD]

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@Greg_MenCareToo wrote:

@MDT Spot on that men can often express care differently.  I have spoken with a lot of young Dads who have children with disabilities and their contribution is going to work to ensure their child has everything they need.   

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And their contribution is not greater or any smaller than those who choose to stay at home to look after their child.

[Greg_MenCareToo]

To expand on the topic of invisibility of carers, this could also include other demographics like Indigenious, Culturally and Linguistically Diverse and Seniors who are caring for spouses.  Are there any other groups people can think of who are not well recognised?

[Greg_MenCareToo]

@eth thanks for sharing this, it still get tounge tied and draw a blank sometimes when I'm asked what I do, I love that you try using humour it can help break the ice 

[Greg_MenCareToo]

@JMRD Exactly, respecting that each person and their circumstance is different is important.  I feel like there are many who are quick to judge others and that makes it hard to be comfortable and honest talking about these topics with people sometimes. 

[Nino]

@Greg_MenCareToo I think young carers or individuals who became carers at a young age for parents/loved ones are not well recognised

[Lauz]

So as we get towards the end of the evening - an important thing to do is share some tips between each other! @JMRD @MrDad @Nino @Adge @eth @Shaz51 @Determined @MDT (hope I got everyone!!)

What three tips about caring for someone would you have liked to have known earlier on? Sharing some insight would be helpful to those new to a caring role, or those deep into a caring role might benefit from collecting other tips here!

[MrDad]

I have friends in the LGBTQI+ community. From what I have heard and experienced through them in caring roles it can be doubly hard. There still is stigma surrounding their labels although it really shouldn't matter. For the most it does. Anecdotally it has been older generations that have the biggest issues. That said, there are people in every generation that are very accepting and also the opposite. My kids god father came out when I asked him to take the role. He wanted to be assured that I was Ok with it. He has been the best god father I could have ever had. What he aligns with within the LGBTQI+ community has not made any difference.

[eth]

With regard to men in GBTIQA+ caring roles the one thing I have seen is that it's much harder for them to get compassionate leave from employers.  

[MrDad]

My number one tip. Look after yourself. Unless you are at your best you can't give your best to those you care for.

[Greg_MenCareToo]

Just three @Lauz ?  I’m sure there would be a whole set of instructions we could come up with but us blokes are not well known for reading instructions so I think three tips is a good idea 

Don’t think you need to do everything.  It is important to give the person you care for as much independence as they are able to manage and frees you up to do other things.

Join a group, in person or online.  The knowledge and information that people in similar situations share can give you ideas and strategies to best manage your caring responsibilities.

Stay connected with your mates or make some new ones.  There is overwhelming evidence that having a few close mates is good for your physical and mental health, this is probably the most important tip I can offer.