Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hugs @Former-Member ..... you’ve done the best you possibly could have, and I am sure your Dad’s thoughts and emotions will be all over the place, especially at his very advanced age and state if wellness ..... try to pay no mind to any tone of disappointment and enjoy being in the moment with him for the moments you can ..... 

💜🌷

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member 

The  B&W is a powerful image.

When there is grief, the self reproaches can hit home, but you can rub out the chalk and make your boundaries bigger and even a new different shape.

Your family has come through a lot of tough times.  I hope you find the gentle capacity to heal yourself.

This pic is called The attitude of Lightning to Lady Mountain.

It is very open to interpretation and jiggles up my thoughts at times.

Perspective and shape

and other spiritual or beautiful images ...

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member 
Seeing your parents in such circumstances sounds really painful. I am concerned when you say that it feels like your time to die too, will send you an email in a moment to check in with you. Take care of yourself there.

[Zoe7]

You have not let anyone down @Former-Member You have done the best you can and looked after yourself as well. You spent so much time looking after your father and you did a great job. You are being hard on yourself but there is no need to be. Families are complicated and you certainly do not'did not deserve the treatment you have received. Very much time to put yourself first Hon. We love you here @Former-Member and very much want you around 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member  but I'm ok. Just expressing my pathetic nothingness in search of some reconstruction tips using broken tools in a broken world.  I'll be fine after my cup of tea. Anyway, can't k#ll something that's already dead lol ..

I'll check my emails when I get up. Thanks 💕

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7 , youre a treasure. I'm actually gonna get up for that cuppa now, mabe take a laxative or something lol I'll be fine 💙

[Former-Member]

Thanks for answering so promptly @Former-Member 
A cup of tea can be surprisingly soothing sometimes – and you've certainly have the support of members here with what you're going through

[Zoe7]

We have been on this road together for a while @Former-Member and I have seen a change in you with your new place. I know it is a long way from where you used to live and a long way from family but maybe that is exactly what you needed to get some emotional distance as well. I think this new place has been good for you Hon - in so many ways. Do not let the family stuff get in the way of your own happiness - there is nothing you can do about the actions of others. Be you and know we all like the you we see 

[Former-Member]

Thanks F&H, and Appleblossom. Its nice to have pictures again.

I'm really battling today. Haven't even had my first cup of tea yet and that's saying something, all I done is let the dog out with her brekky,, peed, put kettle on and went back to bed. Very teary today. Saw new DR here yesterday. Filling out those 'history' forms and NOK etc really depressed me, I don't even mention my son, I just write a fake person there now, or this time it was a new church acquaintance I met last Sunday, cause I happen to have their number. Very sad. The dr asked "what are you doing to lose weight?" and of cause anything I say is obviously not working. At least the scales weighed a loss.. My BP was up too, so I was lectured about how being a "social smoker" isn't a ''non-smoker" drr! And I forgot to take my medical notes Smiley Sad and was late cause had trouble finding the place and walking on these painful leg...

Nope, today's a shit day!

Betta go have a drink and brekky pills somehow. I can do this. Thanks for the encouragement 💕 I can do this.... but, does it really matter if I don't ?