Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@-Rayne-it is hard. I understand their duty of care. As I said, that is why I use SANE b/c I am on the forums so they know a bit about me and SCBS because they are well trained and will not "jump the gun" lets say.

[-Rayne-]

i never can through to scbs. maybe not patient enough. i dont know about sane. its only at certain times no?

i'm afraid of what i hear. they already c*t my face. not very bad but enough the doctor said it will scar. what i hear is worse. i don't know what to do. i'm sorry for dumping here and never helping anyone. i just dont know what to say.

[Former-Member]

@-Rayne-SANE chat and helpline are open till 10pm. After that if I need assistance I normally ring SCBS because their chat is so hard to get through on. 

I am not sure what you mean when you say "I'm afraid of what I hear"?

Never be sorry for saying how you feel or what you are going through. You are not dumping anything here. You have a right to be heard just as much as I do. It is not about helping others, it is about getting the help that you deserve. 

[Queenie]

Hey @-Rayne-, do they mean "they" as is in voices or alters? I'm sorry to hear about the injury and that it will scar. I sometimes am afraid of what I hear too (I hear voices) and sometimes what they say isn't at all pleasant. I feel for you.

I'm found the SANE helpline and chat really helpful and far less scripted than other services. It is open until 10pm AEDT Mon-Fri. I highly recommend it.

[-Rayne-]

Thanks @Former-Member and @Queenie. I might try sane tomorrow. See how things go. Part of the problem is I get paranoid about speaking on the phone. But anyway. I don't know. Do I mean alters? Yes I guess so although I'm wondering right now if they're actually real. What I hear is real but I don't know about the whole DID thing. I slept a little, woke at 4am and starting drinking again. Feeling like it might be a good solution to just stay permanently drunk then whatever happens I won't know or care about hey.

[-Rayne-]

still spiralling through darkness. saw therapist today who i have given my ALL to getting to reach a diiferentdiagosis. since March i have seen him with the sole intention of getting him to dx something other than DID and what does he say today, i believe you have DID. i know you won't beleive it so I would like you to confirm it with x psychiatrist who can also give you better meds, blah blah blah. no!!

i'm so over this life. i have nothing left. no other point to continue being. i so want to end it this weekend

[River9]

Hi @-Rayne- I'm so sorry to hear that you had such a difficult appointment with your psychiatrist today and that you are feeling as though you have nothing left. I have just sent you an email to check in and see how you're traveling further.

[-Rayne-]

I'm sorry, I don't remember writing that but I'll tell my psychologist. I don't understand how things can disintegrate so fast for no reason at all. I suppose that's another thing I should talk to him about. I think there should be a reason. Maybe there just isnt' though. In all these years we have never found one <deep sighs> That's all - just sighs. Here we go again.

[-Rayne-]

somebody posted here and now it's gone? didn't look like anything wrong to me??

@Puzzle i agree, it really doesn't help. the opposite. how to make them see this.  also welcome to sane 🙂

[MaryMahem]

Hey @-Rayne-

This has happened to me too.  It is an invasion of privacy and is the reason I won't call and have only gone online twice.

If you want to chat online, search Youtube for a tutorial to change your ISP.  It takes 2 minutes, s computer novice can do it and they cannot trace you.  

Part of the problem with all MH services is that few of us are telling the truth to professionals as we know they will section us.  How are we supposed to get proper treatment with this model in place?

Good luck.