Lived Experience Forum

[FloatingFeather]

It's understandable that you are too tired to think about what you are doing over summer @creative_writer. You probably just want to catch your breathe and be still for a while. I do agree with you and think it's a good idea to find something you enjoy doing to help keep you busy because if you are anything like me when I have to much free time my mind wanders and it's usually around something negative.

I am glad to read you are feeling a little better and not suicidal - that's really good but I do understand anxiety and how it can creep up on you. It's not a fun feeling to sit with I know. I find when I can really distract myself and get my mind engaged in something it usually helps. If not to stop my anxiety but at least give my mind a bit of breathing space from constantly thinking.

Big hugs to you,

FloatingFeather

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather ❤️ I think I will need to find things to do to make it a bit easier. Even though I am not feeling as awful as before, I find myself reaching out a lot. I am afraid of becoming dependent but I just don’t really have people in my life right now to talk to consistently. The only people I can interaction regarding normal stuff is family too. So I have limited people, generally speaking. Adult life makes it hard to stay in contact with people and scheduling regular catch ups is hard, it’s easy to drift apart. Though I don’t know if my negative energy drains people out too.

[FloatingFeather]

There's nothing wrong with reaching out @creative_writer - we all crave human connection and support. It's good you have your family for support. I agree that adult life can make it hard to stay in regular contact with people but I guess what's important is that we keep trying. Often I think when I reach out to someone they might be too busy for me or aren't keen to catch up but I am usually pleasantly surprised they are happy to hear from me (even if that can't meet up at the time) ❤️

[creative_writer]

@FloatingFeather ❤️ the problem is just relying on social media to talk is hard. Distance makes it hard to catch up, Melbourne is really big and sometimes it can take a while to even get a response because of busy lives. I’ve just had that mentality I need to be independent ingrained in me because I often haven’t had people I could rely on. My mum says you can rely on family and not people outside since they don’t care as much, but I notice a lot of tension when talking about sensitive matters with parents.

[creative_writer]

Arguments with parents is exhausting. Sometimes I feel like I need to really go out there to get my opinion across. Like there was initial resistance to me seeking professional help for my mental health when I was a teen. Only after a year of putting my point across I was able to get it. I was talking about being open about a particular matter in therapy today, and I have noticed some resistance for a while. I guess some things are very personal and they are private people. But my dad is like do what you have to do now. These are other examples too where I felt pressured and only after a long time do they give in.

[creative_writer]

Maybe my anger is immature, I’ve been told I need to stop being so short tempered. But I hate having to fight for what I believe in.

[TuxedoCat]

@creative_writer - whatever your feeling is real and valid. And you SHOULD fight for what you believe in and what will be good for you. I feel like when I've been in similar positions to you, I squish my feelings down and try to ignore them. It's taken me a long time to feel my feelings properly!

The important thing is that your mental health is yours. And you have the power to make decisions about it. Even if it takes a bit of time ❤️ 

[creative_writer]

@TuxedoCat ❤️. I admit I have a temper and could’ve done something on impulse if I hadn’t been caught. I get a lecture on how I am acting like a kid. But sometimes I just can’t control my emotions.

[TuxedoCat]

I hear that @creative_writer. Sounds like sometimes you react in ways you don't like. But it seems unfair to me to be called a kid for it. 

What do you do when you want to take your time and respond to something, instead of just reacting immediately? 

[creative_writer]

@TuxedoCat I honestly don’t understand my reaction. My dad called it a tantrum. I was also about to take action towards ending my life too but my dad caught me. I’m okay now, I think I’ll try to sleep early. I guess I felt lonely, frustrated and confused. Like I feel like sometimes I get confusing signals from parents that I’m not supposed to trust my therapist with everything. So I’m just like what’s the point if I can’t get treatment, like there is no hope on healing because I have nobody to talk to about dark heavy stuff. I know they want to protect me but it feels too much. I’m 28, under my parents roof and get treated like a baby.