16-12-2017 06:51 PM
16-12-2017 06:51 PM
16-12-2017 08:09 PM
16-12-2017 08:32 PM
16-12-2017 08:32 PM
@Phoenix_Rising a quick fly-by to (hopefully) add some colour into your night....
17-12-2017 08:06 AM
17-12-2017 08:29 PM
17-12-2017 08:29 PM
17-12-2017 08:40 PM
17-12-2017 08:40 PM
18-12-2017 10:36 AM
18-12-2017 07:14 PM
18-12-2017 07:14 PM
18-12-2017 09:34 PM
18-12-2017 09:34 PM
Just letting you know that The Little Mermaid is watching over the ocean tonight tonight, Little Turtle.
18-12-2017 09:37 PM
18-12-2017 09:37 PM
Hi @CheerBear,
I am missing you too. I will be heading off to bed soon, but I will reappear tomorrow morning. I am SUPER struggling, CheerBear. I truly believe that my soul has died. Between the Forum Land muddle, and my turtle whisperer dumping me, I think the final shreds of my attachment system have disintegrated into nothingness.
Last Thursday I showed TTT, Forum Land. I showed her you and told her that you are the only person I feel any sort of emotional connection to. She asked if I meant the only person in Forum Land, or the only person anywhere. It threw me off balance a bit and I said that I wasn't sure. But I've been reflecting on it since, and the more I think about it, the more I realise that yep, you are the only person on the planet that I feel a connection with. At least, you are the only person I feel a connection with, who actually wants to engage with me. There are a LOT of people that I love...but none of them want me in their life.
Everyone's gone, CheerBear. EVERYONE has gone. Everyone goes, and I don't understand why. I emailed my turtle whisperer's boss today to try and make more sense of why my turtle whisperer dumped me, and I got a "we aren't going to discuss it anymore" type response. So once again, I'm just sitting here utterly bewildered about what it is that I do wrong, that makes everyone leave.
I could LEARN, CheerBear, if someone would just take the time to teach me. TTT isn't going to be able to explain it to me because she doesn't know the situation. This is always the problem - only the person who leaves (and in this case, her boss) truly knows why they leave, and they never explain. And then anyone else that I try to ask gives me a "well I can't speak for so-and-so..." type response. And that is how it is that I am 40 years old, no one can stand being around me, and I don't have the remotest idea why. How does anyone live with that, CheerBear. How do I live with that???
I could have very happily not checked in here tonight. You are the only reason I am here. People really scare me now, CheerBear. Every time someone leaves, it hurts SO MUCH. I have narrowed my world hugely to avoid getting hurt. I know I'll never do the friend thing again. The only people I engage with are health professionals - and they keep hurting me too. TTT is definitely the last mental health professional I will try. I am super sure that she is the right match, but now I am wondering exactly what "getting better" is going to look like. She knows that my goal in therapy is to get into employment. Whether that is a realistic goal or not, I have no idea - and neither would she right now because she knows only the barest details of my story. I so badly wish I didn't have to wait until the 11th of January to see her again.
Anyway, how was your day? I will wander over there --> to see if you have written about it. Thank you SO much for being my not-friend. Your unicorn's name made me giggle. Those unicorns can be dangerous critters! Just remember not to play leap frog with her!
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as traditional custodians of the land on which it operates. We pay respect to Elders past, present and emerging, and value the rich history, unbroken culture and ongoing connection of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people to country.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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