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I'm going to go and snuggle in my bed, under my weighted blanket with my toy turtle. I have taken some medication to help me sleep, I've talked out my muddle in a voice message to my psychologist, and I'm seeing her at 8am tomorrow which is hardly any time at all away. Thank you for riding with me @Former-Member and @TheVorticon.
At the risk of traumatizing @TheVorticon, I know the reason today is especially difficult is because of the particular time of the month that it is...and I've always told myself there is no way I was ever going to let the fact that I have my period be the factor that pushes me to suicide. 
Today is nearly done, and tomorrow is a brand new day. Thank you again for riding with me.
@TheVorticon Once I'm snuggled in my bed, I will float on the wave and watch the clouds until I fall asleep.
@Former-Member Zoe found my shell. That was a BIG relief. I definitely need my shell to snuggle into. And now I'm off to bed...
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