Lived Experience Forum

[Phantom]

Hi, am clutching at straws at the moment and thought it might help to hear from anyone who has had recurrent PNDA with each instance being different?
I had deep depression with my first and was mostly consumed with the usual I'm not good enough, everyone would be better off without me stuff but managed to get well again with help. Then the panic attacks and anxiety hit me when I was pregnant with #2 and I worked through that and now #2 is almost eight months old and here I am again but I'm just consumed with rage and get these angry fits when I'm stressed where I can't think straight and am constantly stopping myself from hurting one of my girls until finally my partner comes home and I can walk away. Then it's crying and feeling numb until it happens all over again. I'm meeting my with GP in a couple of days to start trialling medication but I feel like I've got Mount Everest to climb and I don't know how to open up about any of this to my partner he'd be horrified. None of my mum friends have had any mental health issues and they're very frank and honest but I just feel like a whinger and don't want to bring everyone down all the time.
Sorry for the waffling on.

[Kurra]

Hi @Phantom
I've had no experience with this problem but @PANDA may be able to help you. I hope you're feeling a bit better today.
Hugzzz 💕

[PANDA]

Hi @Phantom,

I’m sorry to hear things are so difficult right now. It’s great you’ve been able to reach out and share some of your story on the forum, and I’m sure there are others who can relate.

We speak with many mums who’ve experienced different mental health issues during their pregnancies and know this can be really scary. It’s great you are meeting with your GP soon as it’s important they’re aware of what things are like for you at the moment. If the appointment feels too far away, could you try to see them sooner?

I can't begin to imagine how scary it is to have those thoughts and feelings when you are stressed. Please know that there is support and help available to make things easier. Whilst we know that motherhood is incredibly challenging we also know that with the right treatment recovery is possible. You don’t need to continue to feel this way.

We’d love to talk with you and offer a space to speak about all of this openly. You can phone the Helpline on 1300 726 306 between 10am and 5pm Monday-Friday.

We would love to be able to link you in with what would be most helpful for you. Hope to hear from you @Phantom.

PANDA team

[Phantom]

Thanks @PANDA and @Kurra. I am feeling a bit better today I had a good chat to my brother and was working so didn't have the stress of home. I'm seeing my doctor and counsellor again on Tuesday but they are the earliest appointments I could get. At least it's the weekend and my partner is home to help out, just finding it hard at the moment and really lonely - I have never met anyone in real life whose been through anything like this

[Kurra]

Hi @Phantom
That would be the real value of phoning PANDA. They deal with this problem every day and it's certainly not uncommon. I think you'll find it a relief to talk with them.

I really hope you can manage to relax a little this weekend. Hugzzz 💕🎶💕