Oh no...menopause!!!

[Baileyboy]

Hey @Shaz51 been off for a few days. Been reading everyone's posts tonight and don't want to get into the habit of blaming everthing on menopause, if you know what I mean. But, @Change123@Mazarita@Former-Member@utopia so much of what everyone is saying is way tooooooo familiar to ignore it.

Just don't know what to do about using the contraceptive pill to not have my period but I am so scared of my response to have those obvious symptoms. The gp who started me on them was male and just wanted me to shut up about the psych affects they were having on me. He also "councelled" me about my MI due to Catholic abuse and has since been taken off the register almost in that he can not do any councelling and can not prescribe any MI drugs, even basic sleeping ones. I used to think of him as a mini god, couldn't see that he had me hooked on way too high doses of anti depressents, anti psychotics and narcotics to the point where if I didn't describe a "scene"from my abusive childhood he would withhold medication. I was like a zombie and couldn't see how bad my MI was. It was only the other day that I said to my brother-in-law that I thought this guy had almost ruined me. He said that they thought they had lost me.

The point of all this is that it's now a softly softly approach and these menopausal symptoms definitely don't understand this way. I don't know if anyone else has been flagged using the red 'b' word but really, how can a woman talk about their priods without mentioning the obvious?

What happens if I fall in a heap? To be honest I have never had a sexual relationship, other than to be sbused as a child and one date rape situation which I've never talked about anyway. As for pleasuring myself as @Mazarita talked about I don't really get it. How can I feel pleasure from any sexual feeling and there I have found a problem! Menopausal or MI or both but lately I've been waking up almost in agony, not the right word, but having feelings down there that are obviously sexual, no partner involved, to the point that I do release "stuff" , and then I just feel so ashamed. I really dont6know what to do and I can't explain it to anyone so I am just retreating into myself, feeling like I am almost abusing myself. I have obviously had some physical reaction in my abuse as I became pregnant but miscarried. When I tried to explain all this to my gp who has/is usually good she said " so you enjoyed it sometimes". Nothing could be further from the truth, so I just shut up. What if these menopausal symptoms are dragging up what she called " liking it"

In case noone has caught on..der...I'm so confused and now I am frightened to check with anyone about my menopausal journey. As is obvious I am vet niave abot all things sexual, don't even like the word " sex" , so I guess that's one of the reasons I started the thread in the first place. I get that it's natural but I don't know how natural or MI my own resposes are...

What do any of you think. I'm really not coping at the moment.

Bb

[Shaz51]

Oh no...menopause--- ohh Yes Menopause @Baileyboy, me tooooo

Hello @Change123, @Mazarita, @Former-Member, @utopia 

[utopia]

A giggle for you all.
I'm in hospital and I looked up at the white board where they advertise groups and activities.
I read:
Sunday HRT Therapy 10 - 12.
And I thought weird they are offering that in a psych hospital - but yep I'll go to that.
Guess what it really said?
ART Therapy. Lol

[Shaz51]

ha ha @utopia 

[Baileyboy]

ART...HRT @utopia could probably have the same beenefits. Definitely go. Use all or imaginations.

Keep safe and well.

Bb

[utopia]

I'm sorry @Baileyboy. I posted my giggle comment but hadn't read your previous post.
Firstly I'd like to say all your questions are very valid and perfectly normal questions to ask. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to ask us.
Is the gp who over prescribed and belittled your menopausal symptoms - your ex doctor? Ido hope so.
Is your female gp your new doctor? Other than the comment she made about 'liking it' - does she normally respond in a way that is helpful and understanding?
A great place for you to maybe get the correct answers from is CASA -Centre Against Sexual Assault. I know they are in Victoria. If you are in a different state - then maybe @NikNik may know of a similar organisation near you.
From my experience - sexual type feelings are perfectly normal - even when single. Mastabation is also a perfectly normal and healthy activity and nothing to be ashamed of.
However, you were abused when young and again when older. These will have a big impact on how you feel about sex, whether the word or act. Or sexual type feelings.
Myself and others on here can tell you how we feel, but thd reality is we haven't lived your lifeand felt your emotions.
A CASA nurse is experienced specifically in the trauma of secual assault. And I think they might be the gentlest person, initially, to speak to you about how your body is responding to these new feelings / sensations. And also your fear of getting a period and of blood. They are experienced counselors & everything you are experiencing, they would have heard from some others who have gone through a similar experience.
Your feelings are normal. And I truly hope that you can find a CASA worker or similar who canhelp you eork out these iissues and maybe even direct you to the right resources regarding menopause.

[Baileyboy]

Thanks so much for your time and thoughts @utopia especially as you are in hospital yourself at the moment and need to be mindful of your own needs.

The dr in question is no longer my doctor but is still practising at the surgery I go to. I met him on the street recently and he actually commented how much he missed our " talks".  They actually went on twice weekly for 15 yrs. How dumb was I? I actually don't know how he is practicing at all, although he is one of the partners. My sister works in aged care and received a personal letter from the board stating what he could and couldn't do as a gp. Apparently anyone working in this area were advised of the general situation so Iguess I was not the only one but that doesn't make it any better, does it?

My new gp took on my case basically because noone else would but we have formed a working relationship, sort of. She was quick to get me to a ptsd specialist psychologist so she wasn't left with the mess, or that's how it felt. She usually isnt so blase with her comments although she was under the pump getting ready to go overseas for 4 weeks but I did feel really dirty and couldn't find the words to explain.

This organisation CASA sounds like exactly what I need but I  am in country NSW, not many resourses available at all. Is it alright to email Niknik about this? I know I shouldn't feel ashamed of my body and how it works but a mirror gives me the willies Afterall the priest involved told me again and again that even if I was not always fat I'd always be ugly and only he could stand that. Iguess some things just stick.

The closest physical contact I get comes from my dog which is fine at the moment but how do I know if I miss something if ive never had it in the first place? My bro-in-law tries to give me a hug on bdays etc and I pull away but even female hugs seem to have gone out of bound. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't really understand the whole menopausal thing except that my gp gave me a survey to do and said id I reached a score of 16 we'd worry. I got to 31 and hadn't answered any of the sexual based questions. Luckily, or not she forgot about it in her hurry to get away.

I obviously need someone to discuss all this with and here has already helped so thankyou. Unfortunately just had bad news that someone who I considered a 2nd mu (my mum died when I was 26) passed away today so I am all over the shop. Way too much to deal with as I'm sure you know about. Will be looking towards any more advice that you can send my way. Don't worry about the giggle. gave me a laugh when I needed one.

Take care of yourself @utopia and thankyou again. Sleep well.

Bb

[Change123]

Hi All

Well I had my haircut the other day and it was so funny, 4 women in their including the hairdresser and what are we are talking about MENOPAUSE!! it was good one lady who had been through it and 3 of us who are going through it.

The lady who had been through it went on HRT until she finished menopause and was glad she did this, another lady just started peri-menopause and went on HRT after 12 months.  My hairdresser was told by her female gp that she needs therapy because her hormones are not showing menopause (neither does mine) and me. 

I finished my period for the 2 time in 3 weeks and then I started two days after for a day and finally think I'm finished.  My brain was all over the place on the weekend.  I nearely started something with my partner but as soon as I realised I stopped so hopefully not much damage done.  I will see how I go the next month if I continue ot have problems I will see my GP about hrt.

@Baileyboy sorry to hear about yoru loss - hope you are ok. 

[NikNik]

hi @Baileyboy

One suggestion I have is Blue Knot (http://www.blueknot.org.au/) they have a phone line, so they are accessible all over Australia.

Hope this helps

Nik

[Baileyboy]

Seems like menopause is catching @Cahange123..don't think I'll need a haircut in a while...lol.