Lived Experience Forum

[Salvia]

Good Morning,

tried to ring sane 1800187263  but you don't open 'till 10am 😯 I'm just really tired. Need A backup, a check-in support as i lose relationships if i talk about my 'problems' irl (and frankly, most people just don't want to hear it, dont know what to say, and default to saying some pretty stupid things :face_with_rolling_eyes:)

Anyway, I might be in some trouble as services wind down for the year as I stupidly thought I was ready to reduce my antidepressant (ssri) but think I might have picked a bad time of year as something's not right.

Its really hard to self-monitor...

Do you have a self assessment checklists somewhere here to self evaluate? 

I reduced my AD by half almost  month ago (on them over a decade), but maybe even half is too much to cut back (or is there a hump I just need to ride out). I can't go smaller with tiny tavlet. I'd really Like  to not be dependent on medication but...  don't want to end up burdening the system with a crisis, or dying just yet hopefully (though I don't think many would care much). 

I'm thinking maybe, starting today, going back on full dose, but I know it might take a while to build levels  back up again & would like a backup here maybe please. 

I have a couple of major grief anniversaries coming up too which are play with my head sometimes.

I can't talk with my GP about it re language barrier and don't think she cares about MH issues.  Since I moved here 4yrs back she prescribes my repeat prescription every six months without even asking how I'm coping, not once. She doesnt even know about my parasuidide events / breakdowns and hospital admissions (10+ yrs back). Shell religiously check ky BP though but GPs really dont seem to have time for MH. I could ask for the MH careplan thing but  yeah, its that time of year when ya just cant get an apt. BTDT!

I wish there was an A&E just for mental health, so I know I have somewhere to go where they wont panic should I c one undone. I'm very isolated. At least the mood is more passive this  time, not overwhelmed or feel as worried, just sleep a lot.

Anyway, thanks.

[amber22]

Hey! @Salvia 

My name is Amber22 and I am a Peer Support Worker here at SANE. Welcome to the forums, I'm so glad you decided to join us, and I really hope you get the support that you need from online here. 

Have you tried to give SANE another call once we opened at 10am? I saw you tried to call a bit earlier, but I hope you were able to get through again.

Don't worry, we will be here during the end of year period, so feel free to always reach out to us if you need it 🙂

Please let me know if you have any other questions at all,

Sending hugs

[Snowie]

Hi @Salvia 

I can understand the feelings associated with our supports winding down for the year. It is a shame our mental health doesn't do this too.

Over xmas I try and stay connected on here or use the helplines.

Here if you need to chat

[scruffypuffball]

@Salvia @Snowie @amber22 yeah this time of year is hard.  I wish it didnt exist.  I was already struggling due to family abuse and avoiding them like the plague for 26 years.  Losing my father '22 and then mum '23, this is my first xmas/ny without my parents and I will spend time on these forums and working as well to block it all out.  Not that we celebrated anyway but still, the only solace is that I am extremely covid conscious and Xmas/NY are superspreaders anyway..... the irony....

[Snowie]

Hi @scruffypuffball 

Sorry to hear about your parents. I hope you have enough supports in place to get through this difficult time for you. I'm sure there will be people around on these days, myself included.

[Salvia]

hi @Snowie  @amber22 @scruffypuffball 

I have emerged. Thank you for your replies, I did find them but didntknow w hat to say, and then forgot to come back. it's like i was a different person then / a lifetime ago / bed a me someone else to cope and now I'm back. Sorry I'm not much help to you guys. Do appreciate you're here. Though sick of myself, exhausted, lost. But survived. 

I'll have a read around. Try get to know yas, connect here, need some support, if anyone can handle me. Done trying, run out of hats, so please try take me as I am, doin my best here 😢

[tyme]

You sound like you are trying your best @Salvia . Now one can ask you for any more than that.

We are here to support you.

[Salvia]

 @scruffypuffball 

How did you cope with your bad aniversaries? I lost my mum+sister-Jan'18 & Dad-Dec'22  their birthdays November... it lingers on? messes with my head all summer. But its true that that time helps, the first is the  hardest, we do learn to live with it. Hope you're ok. Doesn't help when the rest of the family is  estranged (i live that too)... nobody to bounce memories off.  

[Salvia]

thanks @tyme  but how do we know if we're doing our best - when tiredness is confused with lazy?  and people with greater struggles are doing so much better? 

[tyme]

Hey @Salvia ,

I terms of doing your best, if you think about it, is there anything else within your control (considering the current circumstances and your current state) that you are able to still do?

Laziness is more not having the drive or want to do something as opposed to being someone that really just 'can't' do any more.