My Mosaic

[Bow]

Tomorrow is a difficult day @tyme i already anticipate what it’s gonna be like. 

id really like to just stay in bed and hide away from the world. Not speak to anyone. But I’m due to see my psychologist in the morning. I’ve skipped so many appointments recently cause life has just been really shitty and staying home where I feel safe is what I need to do. My psychologist doesn’t really appreciate that though. She’d prefer I attend my appointments cause ‘it’s in these times that I most need to be in therapy’ 😩😩 Urgh 

so I have that. My support worker usually meets me there and sits and waits with me. 

need to drop scripts off at the pharmacy too. 

urgh don’t wanna face tomorrow

[Bow]

Hi @Eve7  i hope you are traveling along ok. I did read about the new addition to your family. Congratulations 

[tyme]

Hahaha, Well if it's a fitted sheet, whip it on. If it's a flat, just chuck it on top tonight and do the bed tomorrow lol.

I don't do the fitted, flat and blankets on top. I just have fitted sheet and doona 🙂 @Eve7 

[tyme]

Oooo @Bow . That's tough. Are those appointments as part of case management? @Bow 

Hope it isn't too tough. Glad your SW is going with you.

[Eve7]

Fitted sheet and pillow cases are on @tyme too hot for anything else.

Quick meal on toast and back to the book for another hour.

[Eve7]

I have pdoc in the morning @Bow  so trying to remain calm as I couldn’t handle a heavy session.

[tyme]

Might be good to let them know as soon as you go in so YOU set the scene about how in-depth you want to get into things @Eve7 .

I'm just munching in an apple. I'm feeling peckish - coz of meds.

Anyway, enjoy your book. I'm warpping up now but will see you tomorrow.

[Snowie]

Hi @Bow 

If you made it to your psych appointment, I hope it went ok hon.

Sending some 💕💕your way.

[Bow]

Think today has been the worst I’ve had in a while. 

tw

i don’t ever know if I should share or just stay quiet but today is the day that I lost it. No one really knew. Urgh I don’t know what to say. So much inside. So much has happened and I just feel so overwhelmed. 
I didn’t wanna go today. But I also didn’t want the lectures from people. I went, took everything in me to get dressed, get in the car and get myself in that building. My SW was already there and she called out as soon as I walked in the door. The receptionists were all busy so I had to stand and wait and then I went and sat down. I didn’t wanna talk. I was so anxious I could not sit still and I had my piece of fluffy string in my hands. Then my old SW walked in, she was there for a meeting. She sat on the other side of me. One of them on each side. They wanted to talk. They asked questions, it was easy to nod my head or shake it. But when I was required to talk… I could hardly put words together. They were loud…. At least it felt loud. I was not coping. The tears started flowing. I wanted to leave but I felt trapped in between them. Kept scanning the room, looking at the time, checking the door for my psych and then looking for an exit. I ended up legging it for the door and then my psych came out. 
she followed me out a short time after and could see my distress. I didn’t know what to do, she offered a short walk or going somewhere more private. I didn’t really want either, but I went inside with her. 
I don’t really remember much of what we talked about. She asked a lot of questions and I wasn’t really able to answer much. But did manage to get the words… ‘todays the day’. She eventually figured out what I was referring to thankfully. I had hoped it would just be a short session, but I checked the time as I walked to the car and I have no idea what we did for a whole hour. 

im full of emotions, there is so much going round and round inside, I have so many questions and I feel so confused. 

my SW was waiting for me when I came out and she was real proud of me for coming back inside and going in with my psych. I just felt annoyed. 

i managed to text my SW later this arvo and was able to explain to her what today was and what was happening for me. 

[tyme]

Oh hun @Bow .

You did it despite it being so hard and so painful. I'm sorry today was such a hard day.

I read that you felt annoyed and confused. And maybe that's okay?

I may not be the best company today, but I'll be glad to sit with you if that helps. I also had a very very crappy day today. 

But I'm glad I can be here with you all.