Listening to triggering music

[creative_writer]

I shouldn’t need PRN this often

[creative_writer]

Maybe if the memories don’t feel real, they never happened and I’ll just wake up. Maybe none of it was real

[tyme]

Hey @creative_writer , what's happening on your side? Got some unhelpful thoughts there?

[creative_writer]

@tyme I’m okay as long as none of it was real. It wasn’t real, right? If I just tell myself it didn’t happen, I’ll be fine. It’s not like things feel real right now anyways

[creative_writer]

I don't see a way out of these intrusive trauma memories. I don't even know what I need from therapy, talking about it in detail hasn't worked in my favour for so long. Maybe I need to tell myself it never happened, maybe then it won't hurt anymore

[Ru-bee]

Sometimes it is really helpful to take a beat and reflect on what we're wanting from our therapy and consider if this current form of therapy is the way to get there @creative_writer 

Talk therapy isn't always the most helpful when it comes to trauma, though it definitely can help some. Have you spoken to your therapist about this, or would you feel comfortable bringing it up with them?

[creative_writer]

@Ru-bee I stopped seeing my last psych because I felt like it wasn’t helping because 1. I did not feel safe and 2. The therapy modality wasn’t working, talk therapy was simply not working. Now I’m trying to find a new psych but I’m confused about what to look for, most therapists have a focus on the “talk” aspect of therapy

[creative_writer]

I think POTS has been contributing to my mental health lately. I was talking to a friend yesterday who found art therapy to be helpful. I feel like therapies such as CBT and exposure therapy aren’t going to be helpful for me right now. Though I am mindful that some therapeutic approaches aren’t covered by Medicare. I am even starting to question whether I need therapy in the first place, maybe it’s fear driven, I don’t know. I feel too complex for the mental health system. I have done research into therapists, but it just leaves me feeling overwhelmed. I don’t want to have to interview 20 psychs for five minutes to get a feel for whether it’s suitable. Even then, it might be hard to determine whether they are suitable

[rav3n]

hey @creative_writer i'm so sorry you feel that you're too complex for the mental health system. it seems like your experiences, combined with how nerve-wracking and time-consuming it can be to find a therapist/therapy that works for you has contributed to that 'too much' feeling. but i assure you, you are not 'too much'. 

art therapy sounds like a really great approach too, are you considering pausing your search for a psych and trying something like that out?

[creative_writer]

@rav3n like I know talk therapy has helped to some extent, but I think I need something outside of the box. Art therapy does sound like a good option, there might be other options available too, I just need to explore them. It’s about moving the tension away from my body outwards. Sometimes I don’t even know what I feel or the pain is too much to put into words, so I end up feeling paralysed