Listening to triggering music

[Jynx]

@creative_writer 😅 I have a meme for that

Like, you're not alone in that. Sometimes I think about how deeply wounded our entire species is and it becomes this heaviness in my heart that feels like it could crush me (oh hey look, more metaphors for emotions wahey). I have to remind myself sometimes that even when these problems feel soooo overwhelmingly huge, that change all happens on the small scale - through our relationships and the good we do for each other. 

Oh drat, no grass frolicking is rough!! You need a moss park instead haha

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it is true our species are deeply wounded. My social justice side of social work comes in, social workers are after all political. Or least our training encourages it. You can’t ignore the pitfalls of our society. Even the mental health system. The mental health system may not be all bad but a lot of improvement still needs to be made. Kind of why I dread psych ward stays. I’ve been lucky the most I’ve gotten is short stay. Don’t think I got much out of it though. I did once get referred to HOPE which was really helpful, but I didn’t have to go to hospital that time, but people were really worried about my safety. I was grateful that I was still able to get intensive support in the community. We definitely need more community supports.

No grass for me. I think I’m also allergic to mold and dust. I’ve heard there is a link between trauma and allergies

[Jynx]

@creative_writer ach, as much as it can be painful to sit with those Big Feelings, I also just wanted to share that reading your words, I can truly hear the passion coming through. You're gonna do awesome work hun. Especially because you get it - you understand the role our sociocultural context plays in the ways we experience and recover from trauma. That ability to redirect from internal blame and stigma, to provide alternative perspectives to pathologising, is a precious thing. 

I agree, community supports are invaluable!! I think that even though talk-therapy is one of the best ways to work through stuff, it's only one side of the coin - finding community and solidarity within that community for your experiences is important too! 

Oh true! I guess that makes sense hey, considering how interconnected everything is. I've heard similar theories for stuff like asthma and fibromyalgia. How about the beach? Warm sand between toes and cool waves washing over feet is the other prime spot for some grounding! Buuuut some folks don't like sand. Or seagulls. Or the sun. Or stinky seaweed. Lol.

[creative_writer]

@Jynx the thing about social work is it often requires further training to do more counselling work. I find admin and case management tedious, it can be rather understimulating. At this point I do not know how my path will shape itself.

It is true the mind and body are connected. So much we do not understand

[Jynx]

@creative_writer give yourself time to explore!! You'll find your niche! I never expected to be doing work this heavily in the digital space when I first started out. I was really keen to get into drug and alcohol counselling, but now that I'm actually in the field not just studying it, my interests and priorities have shifted.

Not sure if I ever told you the story of how I was hired here but basically I was still on job seeker and had to apply for jobs, sane was advertising for a new supervisor. I knew I was nowhere near qualified to do it but I had to hit my quota or wouldn't get my centrelink so, meh! Sent my resume through, and was SO surprised when they asked me for an interview. Point being, try everything! Apply for everything! And don't worry if you don't know the next step, cos sometimes it doesn't become clear until you've finished taking the one you're on. 

The mysteries of consciousness is a humongous topic and one of my special interests! Soooo maybe I won't open up that box right now since it's so late lol but if it's something you're interested in waxing lyrical about some time, let me know 😊

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I feel like the digital space is often more ND friendly. When you're first starting off, it's natural to feel more overwhelmed since you are learning a lot. I've been contemplating whether to go on Job Seeker, but the requirements make me feel overwhelmed. I do have another month of student payments, maybe I'll decide closer to the date what I do. I have currently taken a break from applying for jobs since I am way too overwhelmed right now.

Mind and body connection is also one of my special interests.

Ever had the moment where you tell your thoughts to shut up?

[Jynx]

@creative_writer aye the ability to take each 'task' at my own pace certainly helps when it comes to my distractable brain. Like if I get distracted halfway through writing a post (like I literally already have writing this, I just got up to give kitties a treat lol), you'd never even know 😅

With job seeker, like yes the requirements are a bit intense but so is job-hunting. I think for me, having that external structure/consequences really helps me keep on track. I mean I wouldn't have applied to this job if it hadn't been a requirement for me to hit a quota. However I will also be the first to acknowledge that there's an undercurrent of distress to be found in terms of 'if I don't meet the quota I won't get paid' which becomes a threat to the survival system, and thus can be super overwhelming. So yeah, one to contemplate for sure. 

I have yes! I have also put time and effort into finding more compassionate ways to tell my brain to shut up 😅

I sort of see the mind as a tool. Its job is to interpret and narrativise our sensory information in order to make sense of the world. But it sort of acts more like a parrot sometimes, just regurgigtating information it has heard. Or it will throw me the most bizarre conclusions, random imagery, or heinous thoughts. But I am not the voice in my head, I am the thing that feels and responds to it. So when I've had super dark and nasty thoughts, where I once would have spiralled over how I could have ever thought such a thing, instead I kinda go 'Oh wow that was a wild one, where'd you get that?' Kinda like a cat parent who is sighing as their lil gremlin is dragging a dead rat up the steps you know? 😅 Like 'oh look you've brought me rotting thoughts. Thaaaaanks. I'll just put these over here....'

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I’ve had moments where I felt like I posted on the forum but forgot to hit the post button. It happens. I have probably forgotten to respond to someone at some point on my time on the forums, I hope who that person is hasn’t taken offence.

I kind feel tempted to take some time off where I don’t study or work to decompress. It is true I don’t need to decide now, maybe closer to the end date I can decide how to proceed. You can always cancel a claim too.

I think I’ll need to find a compassionate way to tell my brain to shut up. I get a lot of thoughts. Sometimes my mind is wild.

Has your cat actually brought dead rats up your stairs? I’ve seen a cat with a bird in its mouth. My mum was very angry. It was Megan, and you know Megan, she’s a very mean and aggressive cat. I don’t think I’ve ever met a more arrogant cat, and all cats think highly of themselves to a certain extent. I’m sure your cats love themselves 🤣

[Jynx]

@creative_writer well that's why we always like to remind folks that 'expected to answer everyone who interacts with you' is not part of our forums culture 😉 I'm sure they'd understand. 

Oh yes some time off would do you a world of good!! You've been soooo hard at work with your studies, taking some time just to decompress and reconnect with self is always gonna be a good thing!! Heck, I'd even be taking off for a bit if it were me, go backpacking or something 😅

Self-talk does require lots of practice! I find it easier to say stuff out loud - kinda overrides the 'thought' ya know? Maybe next time you automatically tell your brain to shut up (cos it would be automatic at this point I'd imagine, no?) then pausing, and gently saying out loud to yourself something like 'Hey, I know I'm frustrated, but that's not how I wanna be treating myself anymore.' And then depending what you were telling your brain to shutup about, you could offer a bit of compassion like 'thanks for that thought I know it's an attempt to protect me but it isn't needed right now.' 

Haha it can feel almost like you're gently educating a child about why they shouldn't hit people 😝

Haha not quite up my stairs that was me being dramatic... but she's killed a rat before then thrown it up which was probably the grossest thing I've ever seen. And now you can suffer with me at that mental image muahaha! But for real if that's too graphic I apologise 🙃

Much on for you today hun?

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I honestly don’t feel ready for the workforce. I don’t want to leave uni, the finality of the course is scaring me. Though, at the same time I want to graduate and have it done and over with. I have given up trying to understand my mind.

I’ve always found self-talk really challenging. Telling the brain to “shut up” sounds rather harsh. I completely agree you must be gentle. I’m just not used to being compassionate with myself. If only it was easy to be kind to oneself.

That is gross. Some cats are very good at hunting, others not so much. The dumb cats are hilarious though, they try to hunt but jump when the bird or their prey has already left.

I haven’t had much on. Assignment work can really drain the brain, I’ve been up since like 6am. I didn’t feel sleepy upon awakening so stayed awake. I’m just resting up for now. How about you?