Listening to triggering music

[Jynx]

@creative_writer Hey hun, had a couple days away whilst I wrestled with my uterus 😅

I definitely didn't feel ready for the workforce. I do think that sometimes a 'trial by fire' is the best possible way to get past those kind of hurdles. However, nervousness/pre-work jitters are probably a bit different to like, still-recovering-from-burn-out feels! I think if it's the nature of the work that is making you feel not ready, maybe that's just where the leap of faith is needed. But if even the idea of fulfilling work or the effort required to do the work is what is giving you pause, that may indicate a need for some rest and recovery. One to reflect on perhaps!!

Positive self-talk is definitely hard - and doubly so when you're trying to deal with self-talk habits that took a lifetime to build. It is just a matter of practice, and being gentle and patient with yourself when you stuff it up. Written affirmations also helped me heaps. I still need to find those...

Haha love watching a cat jump for like a table and they make this big show n dance of preparing for the leap then just... go like an inch and fall down 🤣

Hope you've gotten some restful days in darlin!! Catch ya next week 💜

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I need time off where I don’t even want to worry about applying for jobs. I am very burnt out. I am recovering, but recovery is slow. Sometimes recovery means outside of the box thinking. I’ve had to find alternative ways of coping with physical pain of being a migraine sufferer. That’s not to say meds aren’t helpful. It’s just not adequate alone. I’ve found the same thing with mental health.

I feel like cats get embarrassed if they miss and fall down.

I hope you’re feeling better 💖. My uterus has been wrestling with me lately too. At least I was on time this month, I was like super late last month.

[Jynx]

Hey @creative_writer good to hear from you 😊 

Yeah unfortunately recovery burn out can be very slow-going, which makes it doubly frustrating when we know we need rest but external obligations (like needing money for rent for instance) can sometimes force us to go back into the fray before we're ready. I hope that doesn't happen for you!! Have you spoken to any of your supports about your burn out? 

Hahaha yeah totally, I love when they furiously start licking themselves as if to say 'Oh. I meant to do that. Mlem mlem mlem' 😹

I am a bit yeah! Finally got mine yesterday thank goodness. I'm still booked in to see a gyno though, I wanna get checked out for endo. 

How was your weekend?

[creative_writer]

@Jynx it also sucks how my Centrelink payments are ending at the end of Nov. But I don’t even want to find a job right now and work. I’m sure my dad would be more than happy to cover costs if needed, like psych costs. I’ve been looking at therapists, a lot of them are expensive 😭. I might talk about burn out with my SANE counsellor tomorrow.

I know right, they pretend they were meant to miss. They won’t admit to defeat 😹.

I hope the gyno is able to help out. Hormones can be vicious

[Jynx]

@creative_writer ach that sucks about Centrelink, it really is such an inefficient program. Really ought to be case by case rather than one size fits all! I hope you're able to get a bit of support from parents while you figure out your next steps! I know they've not really been a source of support for you mental health stuff, but have you spoken to them about/do you think they'd be more supportive for your burn out? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I’m kinda torn whether to apply for Job Seeker, but if I do, I’ll need to get an exemption. It is a tedious process in itself.

I kind of don’t want to leave uni and go to the workforce. The finality of my course is kicking in.

My parents would be more than happy to financially support me. They want me to stay under the same roof till I get married. Paying rent is not something I can really think about right now either. I think ideally they want me to find someone and settle down. The biological clock does start ticking

[Jynx]

@creative_writer aye, could be tricky to get. Could it be worth at least getting the process started and then when you're ready, finalise it then? Hmmm...

Transitional phases like this are bound to bring up a lot of uneasiness. Especially for we little ND's with our rigid nervous systems - change is hard! Not knowing is hard! Not having our familiar routines is hard!! Please give yourself some grace to be a bit of a mess hun 💜

I'm glad you do have some financial stability from them to enable you to take these next steps at your own pace! I hope it can be a sustainable living situation for now as well 🤞

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I’m too stressed about assignments to do a Centrelink application rn. I can do one application straight after, that way there won’t be a waiting period because it’ll be before the end course date.

I have no idea what I’m going to do. I’ll let you know once I figure it out.

The relationship stuff does stress me out too. I feel this pressure to get married, I’m getting older

[Jynx]

@creative_writer oh good point haha yeah no let's not make the burn out any worse!

Ach... I do know the feeling, even if it's been a while since I felt like that. I also recall that no matter how many times people told me 'to just wait' and 'you'll find your someone someday' was bonkers, and I really disliked that because it didn't make me feel any better in the moment. What did actually help me was to try to focus inward instead, on building up my sense of inner strength and seeking out things I enjoyed. When I stopped looking, love found me!

I do acknowledge that there wasn't as much family or cultural pressure on me, which would also make for murky waters as it becomes less about what you want and more about fulfilling our need to belong by adhering to cultural norms. Which is also an important thing! So it is understandable to feel pretty overwhelmed by it all. Do you think it's something you feel ready for, or do you think this is more a sense of obligation?

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I feel like it implies that you’re not worthy unless you’re in a relationship. It gets on my nerves in a way, because someone’s worth shouldn’t be based on relationship status.

I don’t think it’s possible to be ready for a relationship unless you’ve met someone. So can’t say I’m ready, I don’t feel comfortable with anyone I’ve met so far. I hate when people say you must get settled, and sometimes people do get pushed into situations with the wrong person