Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[JAC]

I too have a daughter with BPD and get extremely frustrated with her. She was diagnosed in October2015, but has had issues in the past. I believe we have been dealing with this for at least 7 years , she is 21 now. She was a cutter in her early teens, something her mental health worker  says is not relevant, he seems to .find other "reasons" for this disorder.  I personally think this guy is an idiot!! I have attempted to find someone else for her to work with but she likes this guy, basically because he believes the lies and manipulation she feeds him. The major problem we have is that she has a 21month old son who we are all very concerned about and my partner and I are currently seeking custody. She has moments of clarity for about 2-3wks and then falls apart again. She is extremely angry and we unfortunately have to look out for him first and then try to get her help. She is extremely promiscuous and is constantly bringing new men on the scene and her friends change constantly too. DHS are working very closely with us at the moment as we have taken temp custody of my grandson 3 times in the last eight months, the longest period was for 4  months in one stretch after she was admitted to the pyschiatric ward of the local hospital. Does anyone else have a similar story, family member with BPD with a baby. Would love to hear your take on it and any advice you may have for us. Most days I feel worn out with stress and worry about her and my grandson. My head says be done with her but my heart cannot let her go.

[imhermother]

I too have a daughter with BPD- OMG ITS HORRENDOUS, can you offer any dvice of where you got assistance and help? Apart from taking her to the hospital twice when she was haing major episodes I have found no one who has any patience with her and her condition- we have no support what so ever and this is so so so difficult, I seem to be the only one trying to remain constant for her but I have melt downs trying to reason with her- WHICH NEVER WORKS- Ireally want her to live independently but she can't even complete a centrlink interview to get a pension so now I am trying to financially support her as well GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- I'm sure you fully understand where I'm coming from can you offer any advice or helpful techniques?

[tdwp]

Sorry early days for us, still making appts to see who can help her & us as a family. My daughter is 16 still at school & has moved out of the family home living with an unstable family which is heartbreaking as a mum. All I can do is keep messaging her that we love her. I have come across 'Family Connections' whom I intend getting in touch with in the very near future. She/we are also seeking help through Mercycare. Wishing you peace & happiness.

[olly53]

Yes the promiscuity is a major issue. My daughter is 36 years old and has a 13 year old son as a single parent. She just recently had a miscarriage to a casual acquantance. I had a major meltdown recently and somehow have found her a little easier to deal with since however it is a rollercoaster ride. I ensure that I do not judge her and support her as much as I can given I am now 63 and getting less tolerant of the ride. I constantly reassure her and try to build her self esteem as well as having my grandson as much as I can to keep him stable. I sometimes make myself unavailable by phone as my cup can get empty very quickly and when she is on a downward spiral I keep telling her that she needs to make an appointment with her pyschologist. She does eventually listen and seeks an appointment with a very professional and aware person who steers her in the right direction. My goal is to keep making sure that I am okay as I am not good for her if I am not in good shape. This is the challenge always. I hope this helps but as parents of our children with BPD it is a constant juggling act with some respite when they are travelling okay.