I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Appleblossom]

Not sure what you mean.  DId something new happen?

Happy Birthday

@outlander

[outlander]

thanks @Appleblossom

no i jsut seen a dog which is bringing up the ptsd event that i have with a dog attack so just trying to work through the flashbacks associated with that atm

[Appleblossom]

Scary stuff and triggers are hard to predict.

Breathe and touch or smell and engage other senses. Also express it rather than internalise it.

Good to see you around though.

Growing fonder.

Enjoy as much of birthday as you can.

[outlander]

hello my beautiful forum family

We were going to go out for dinner but we are all too full to go out! so we are just going to have maccas tonight as we are all abit tired 

The small celebration turned out to be over 30 people- half of which I havent seen in bloody yrs and probably wont again lol. But it went from 12 until 3 and boy was it tiring!

My uncle come down from his house which is about 3 hrs away. Hes going back home tonight but has spent most of the day with us.

Instead of going out to dinner we ended up going for a walk on the beach, I found some very unusal shells and it reminded me of the friends I have here. Each of my shells (while I only collected 10, I think I wouldve needed the entire beach for each member!!) but they are there to remind when that when things get tough I have my friends here who I can talk to and who care. Each shell is different which represents the uniqueness of each person I meet and for that I appreciate.

 ive had a few drinks today, I think 2 is plenty considering i dont usually drink much!

just dealing with flashbacks atm, they are so unpredictable. i went to work in 2 hrs i had spare today and seen dogs and it really triggered me and then above as mentioned went to the beach and was told it wasnt a dog beach but what was it a bloody dog beach! so i focussed on collecting shells and finding crabs. ive got some pics from today too that i have to upload from my phone to comp but i really need to stop 'hearing' screaming that isnt there and seeing that darned dog that attacked!

@Appleblossom@Shaz51@Former-Member@Former-Member@Owlunar@Sans911@Former-Member@Bubbles3@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member@Mazarita@MDT

im sure theres more! if you know of someone that ive missed please tag them in so i can say thank you!

[Former-Member]

@outlander,the dog attack was unfortunate but it was a one off.Any consolation I think there are more done out there with great personalities and social skills then in the human race.Plus someone failed to be responsible that day for the dog.

[outlander]

i know not all dogs are bad @Former-Member but when i get those visions and can hear my sister screaming and dogs growling, feel slobber on my arms even though there is nothing there makes it really unbearable. 

i dont get these ones as much now but when they come they come in full force and of all days it had to be today!!

mentla health doesnt care what day it is unfortuantley though

[Former-Member]

Yes @outlander,living with mental illness is cruel at times.

[Former-Member]

You must have people who like you somewhere @outlander,to have that number of people.I think I would have to rent a crowd,but would prefer at the moment to put up my "just P*** off!",the way I'm feeling.🐑

[outlander]

@Former-Memberit was a chance for a pi** up. alot of my family who i dont ever ever see jsut go to occassions to drink. 

[Former-Member]

Reminds me of my father's wake @outlander,when I was in a state and see people going pass with full plates of food questioning wtf they came for.When my sister got married as well,my parents invited relatives,have nothing to do with. For me who has failed,what a waste of money.

I think I'd rather get the money spent on grog @outlander and spend the day with the horses