I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I took a prn last night to sleep. This one is approved by my hospital Pdoc. She doesn’t approve of another one I have.

I woke up at 8 took the dogs out and went back to bed and slept until 12. The only reason I got up was because I have an online thing with my course. 

Im going to have to force myself to find some motivation in my day.

The whole ACE model has gone out the window. I had such good intentions 

[Snowie]

You must have needed the sleep @Captain24 

I hope the thing with the course goes well hon.

Around if you need some company.

[Jynx]

@Captain24 honestly hun (and I hope this doesn't sound invalidating) what you're describing sounds super duper normal to me. It's okay to feel lost, to feel like you're going backwards, or to struggle to be putting new skills and stuff into practice. It doesn't mean you're failing or that you're not making any progress. The fact that others have already noticed a change in you demonstrates that you are totally making progress! 

Frustrating as it is to hear, making enough progress to notice a sizeable difference often takes months/years. It's not really something you notice day-to-day, at least not in my experience. It's more like... after a while you look back and go 'wow, I am actually doing really well... thinking about a year ago when x/y/z was happening, I'm actually thriving in comparison to then'. But that's not to say you can't have big epiphany moments and distinct moments of growth, just that largely, it's incremental, so sometimes it's about looking at the bigger picture than focusing on the struggle of day-to-day. You only got out a couple weeks ago after all! 

Me, I'v been doing okay, though today has been kinda crappy. Someone side-swiped my car (it was parked, I wasn't in it) so now I got a big scratch, I'm so peeved. How's today unfolding for you?

[Shaz51]

Ohh noo @Jynx , glad you were not in the car 

Sitting with you @Captain24 😀

[Captain24]

Hey @Jynx 

Sorry about your car.. did the person stop or was it a drive by? Sorry it made for a bit of a crappy day. 

I am listening to what you wrote. Hearing it and understanding it are 2 different things. 

Im so confused right now, I don’t know. 

I do know that I need to feel physical pain though. 

[tyme]

Heya @Captain24  🙂

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I dunno! My car was parked out front of the supermarket, I had gone off to pick up a script and came back to a huge scrape along the side! Thanks hun, appreciate the care 💜

Aye that's fair, it can be tricky to take in if your brain is throwing up protests about the idea. I hope one day you look back and go 'oh boy, Jynx was right!'. Just takes time. 

Physical pain is a form of external regulation that stimulates the brain to release dopamine and endorphins - chemicals that make us feel better. Perhaps you could look for some other ways to release them? 

Some ideas in here, or there's this lil infographic: 

And bonus, here's some neat lil coping thoughts for ya: 

[Captain24]

Heya @tyme.

How are you doing? 

[tyme]

Doing pretty well @Captain24 ,

How's your day been? Some ups and downs?

[Captain24]

It’s too late @Jynx 

I did read through it! I’ve saved it. 

It’s weird and uncomfortable but I guess, well I’m hoping, it’s a good thing it just doesn’t feel it.