Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Zoe7 and @Sans911. Your posts were so soothing, truly the company I need right now.  I will talk more soon when I can properly, right now I feel frozen. Can't think straight or move. Which must sound odd. I can't properly express myself. It's like that fear experienced when you face a imminent unwelcome death or a reality that one can't handle. I lay helpless and incredibly depressed. But these posts are really helping and means a lot to me. The pain is so great.....xx

[Former-Member]

I don't have a counsellor at the moment @Faith-and-Hope, but was planning on seeing a grief counsellor. But I feel what I am going through presently has progressed beyond that now. It's something I can't verbalise right now. I feel so confused. I will see my GP soon re a referral, if I can get there. I am feeling apprehensive of getting up and walking through the door. The thought terrifies me which is ridiculous and I have no strength. Thanks for being there xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

Call a locum to the house if you need to @OverThe Edge ......

💜💐

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope - I am calling on you. I just received a phone call and we have just lost our dream house. They didn't say this ofcourse but we know we were gazumpted. My daughter is missing - @Faith-and-Hope, I can't see hope. I am losing my faith, please help me regain in or there is nothing left for me. Please tell me why all these really bad things are destroying me and my husband. Where is God? Did I do something wrong?. I must have. Help me I am sinking....

[oceangirl]

I am here @Former-Member. I wanted to thank you for your support. I know you feel not so good now- but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Chin up sweetheart. Love you always OG

[oceangirl]

I think you should just try relax and do some self care over the weekend, and spend quality time with your husband. I am just going down to the shops but I will be back on later to check on you, my beautiful friend @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Oh my sweet @oceangirl - my life is over, all my dreams down the gugler. One lesson I have learnt is "to never have dreams". They are fictictious and cause nothing but pain. No more. I was foolish to think I deserved any of them. I obviously did something very wrong to deserve all this abuse, injustice, loss and grief. I don't deserve to be happy and that's just the way it is. My fault. As I said in a earlier post everything I have ever done, the love and compassion I gave meant nothing. Absolutely nothing.

My depression is all consuming my friend - I have just lost everything and am trying to stay sane in a very dark place. I have been living in a fairyland. I just wish it would all end my friend, I have had enough of this life. I won't do anything but I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. My distress is overwhelming.

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

It's not ridiculous at all. The community is here for you tonight to support you in any way that you would find helpful - even if it's help to walk through the door.
I have dropped you an email because we care concerned. I hope to hear from you soon.

Nik

PS: this seems to be a very supportive discussion between you all. Let me know if you would like me to move your posts and responses over the past 24 hours to a new discussion thread and out of the Worry Room, so you can keep it going.

[utopia]

@Former-Member.
I understand that dark place called depression. I'm sorry you find yourself stuck in its web.
Not sure if it will help - but here goes.
These are negative self talk.
They are not real. Not true.
Good things are there - but they are sometimes hard to see.
This mood is temporary. It will not last.
But it sounds like you are in a very dark place at the moment. It's a truly awful place to be. I was there recently.
Please reach out for some professional support. Your gp, a counselor/psychologist or a psychiatrist. You can start feeling better, once you get some support.
Am thinking of you and sending you love.♥♥

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member If it wasn't for the love and compassion you showed me all those months ago (and in many, many times since) - where would I be - definitely not here talking to you now. You made such a difference in my life - and continue to make that difference every single day. What you gave me is more than love and compassion - you gave me life and you gave me hope. 

There have been so many times that I have been right on the edge, not caring which way I fall, and as if it was meant to be - there you are - encouraging me, guiding me and showing that abundance of love that you have within yourself. 

At the moment you are in that place where you cannot see what is around you or what is within you because it is so dark - the light will only be allowed in when the pain that is consuming you eases. This will not be easy as once this darkness reaches so deep into your soul that you cannot see a way out  you do begin to lose hope. That is why we are here @Former-Member to hold you in our arms and to keep the hope alive until it finds you again. Until then lean on us, connect with us, talk to us and know that you are loved and adored by us.

Tonight I give you all the strength I have left  and all the love that my heart can hold - to sit beside you and let you know how very much you are cared for and how blessed we are to have you as part of this community.

All my love ...always @Former-Member

Zoe