Christmas blues

[Former-Member]

Hello everyone,

I thought I would start a new thread for those who, like me, are finding this time of year difficult because of loss/grief. Whom are struggling or feeling isolated, depressed, anxious and alone at this time of year.

I have lost many loved ones - my three eldest children/siblings through estrangement, and through death my entire family. I cannot believe how this time of year effects me. I thought after all these years I would be over it. Indeed I am stronger and cope better but it never fails to bring on a depressive episode and invokes in me severe trauma and anxiety. No matter what I do. 

They say some things we never entirely get over - we just learn to carry it and move on. And this I am finding is true.

I woke up a few days ago not feeling right. Feeling nervous, teary, depressed and angry. Wanting to hide away. I became concerned wondering "what is happening to me" which I feel I have not much control over. This of recently is very out of character for me. 

I have been to hell and back this year but coped very well considering (had moments but survived well). But this time of year is bringing me near undone. And it's way down in the subconscious as at first I could not work out what was wrong - what was going on. How could I have survived this year and then when things settle come undone?. It's the time of the year, I worked out, somewhat disappointed that It still effects me this way. This time of year when families get together and all the pain, loss and memories come flooding back to haunt. 

If anyone has experienced this or is feeling like this - depressed, isolated and lonely (whether truly alone or in company) in the Christmas period please don't hesitate to post and share your story, how you are feeling and reach out for support. We can help each other. I do feel so alone in it at times. Warm regards

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Former-Member,

Christmas time is unpleasant for many people. The festive season places stress and expectations on people. It's the one time of year where people are expected to be around their friends and family, and have a great time and celebrate  - but this is simply not the reality for many people. 

There are few discussions on the Forums sharing similar to concerns to you. @Former-Member started this thread about how they were dreading Christmas,  @greenspace started this thread about Coping with Christmas, and @Flower88 wrote here about feeling anxious about being alone on Christmas. Perhaps they can share their thought here? Or you can check out their threads?

We've also go a few events coming up over the next few weeks that you might want to check out here. Hope you can make it to some of the events. 

CB

[Happyness]

I haven't had access to 'Griefline' for a number of years now

And so i guess you can understand that i've been wondering what's going on

[Former-Member]

Hi @CherryBomb

It certainly can be a sad time of the year for many. I wish I still had my lost family to celebrate and be around. I miss the love and sense of belonging -  the security, and it makes me feel somewhat less whole as a person. Makes me feel somewhat disminished in spirit. And the pain of the loss creates so much anxiety as we relive the anguish of loss. Hard to put in words and I have tried to hard to block it out. Most of my losses where not natural ones...But thankfully I do have the undying love of my husband.

Thank you for the information on the threads - I hadn't seen them as I have been offline for a few weeks. Will search for them now. I will definitely look for and participate in the upcoming events. Thanks once again for your support 

[Former-Member]

---

@Happyness wrote:

I haven't had access to 'Griefline' for a number of years now

And so i guess you can understand that i've been wondering what's going on

---

Hello @Happyness

I can certainly relate to the grief this time of year can trigger. I thought I would be fine as I have overcome so much but no. I still struggle at this time of the year. I just feel this underlining sadness 24/7 but try to keep up my normal activities as I have found staying at home makes me worse. Do you find this? Anxiety has raised its ugly head again as well. Although the giving and lights are beautiful and I do respect the true meaning - I will be glad when Christmas is over. Do you have any plans over the next coming weeks? Here if you want to talk 🌹

[Happyness]

I might figure it out later!

😎

[Former-Member]

 @Happyness? This isn't a game. Please do stand on your own two feet and take it elsewhere as this is a support forum and your post is inappropriate and offensive.   @CherryBomb

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Former-Member and @Happyness,

@Happyness I'm not sure what your intent was posting that poem, but it seems unrelated and a bit out of context to current discussion. To keep this discussion on track, I've moved it to another location - I hope that's ok. 

I'm concerned that there may have been some misinterpretation and miscommunication in this thread. It's really important that people feel safe on the Forums to post. So I will contact both of you via email to check in. 

It's a tough time of year for lots of people, so let's try and be supportive and understanding towards each other. There are lots of things that people can find triggering this time of year.

CherryBomb

[Former-Member]

Thank you @CherryBomb The moderators on here do a marvellous job and this does make us feel safer. 😊