Looking after ourselves
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05-11-2016 10:16 PM
05-11-2016 10:16 PM
Coping with Christmas
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06-11-2016 02:40 PM
06-11-2016 02:40 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
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06-11-2016 02:46 PM
06-11-2016 02:46 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
Hi @greenspace
Good thinking, I can't believe that it is already November!
perhaps this would be a good topic tuesday idea @NikNik?
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06-11-2016 02:50 PM
06-11-2016 02:50 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
Last year I was alone for Christmas, so I went along to a community Christmas party for those doing it tough. I had an amazing time and forgot how difficult the day usually is for me. I even made some friends!
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06-11-2016 03:52 PM
06-11-2016 03:52 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
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06-11-2016 07:44 PM
06-11-2016 07:44 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
Worried about xmas too. In past years we've managed to be alone, which is the best and safest, but this year that won't be possible. It will be filled with triggers and we won't be home - the place we need to stay in, is itself massively triggering. We kind of broadly know what we need to do to minimise risks but I still feel like it won't be enough. Sigh.
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06-11-2016 08:04 PM
06-11-2016 08:04 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
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06-11-2016 08:15 PM
06-11-2016 08:15 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
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06-11-2016 08:35 PM
06-11-2016 08:35 PM
Re: Coping with Christmas
My aunt's coping strategies include trying to have everything the same at every Christmas (which we've had at her place every year for the last thirty years, except when her late mother was in hospital or the nursing home, when we had it there), and not talking about anything upsetting on Xmas Day (or ever, really. except her poor health).
I know that it's tough for my aunt too - she misses her mum too, and needs her coping strategies because of a tough childhood. I just wish that she wasn't so intent on controlling everything, demanding that everyone appear happy, serving the same food every year - even though she knows that more of us are vegetarian than not, there must be Christmas ham, and only she and one other person can eat Christmas cake and Christmas pudding, due to food allergies and intolerances.
She is hurt and upset when any changes are suggested (like having it somewhere else).
I know that I'm having trouble keeping things in perspective, but it's just so sad being in the place where we had so many Christmases with my mum and nana, now that they're both gone.
My aunt's way of coping is to act like everything is okay. my way would be to make things as different as possible, and to acknowledge our grief, and to enjoy the new reality as much as we can, and give each other lots of hugs (my aunt is fine with the hugs, just not changes or grief).
And I know there are many people worse off than me, and I feel for them...
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06-11-2016 09:28 PM
06-11-2016 09:28 PM