I hear you @Historylover. I deliberately have not established contact with my extended family as it was full of violence and alcoholism. My brother tried contacting them for some reason idk why. Maybe he wanted to know his roots but the whole family line was not the best.
I think staying away is the right strategy. I can't imagine what my cousins would be like but my brother mentioned to them when he got reunited that I had schizoaffective disorder and they have never tried to get in touch with me lol! So it can be a good thing being a bit crazy!!! 🤣
I have wondered about my cousins and uncles aunts etc whom I've never met but too much water has gone under the bridge and my life is at a juncture where i don't want that kind of thing in my life.
Some of these narcissistic types can only emerge on the scene when they want something from us so I learned that the hard way with a court case involving my brother. I still care but won't put myself in harms way with him after what occured. You just can't have your nurturing principle as a women being sullied by people who seek to benefit from your caring.
Yes it seems like you've been around the circuit a bit having allready investigated Alt2Su. It can somewhat be a challenge to be around people whom you don't vibe with but I still tend to think its a valuable service run by educated survivors who know their stuff for some people who need it. You may need something else that is uplifting, empowering and positive.
I'm sharing this link for you. Its a meditation that I have used to build trust with others. I think our earliest experiences can damage that particularly from our caretakers. I had to work on this myself. I am now at a stage where I have learned to trust again through sunset meditation. I hope you like it as its served me very well in my life.
I will leave it here for now. I hope you enjoy the meditation that has been provided by a healer I follow
Restoring Trust With Sunsets
We all go through experiences that limit our ability to trust. Up to a point, that’s helpful for survival. An abundance of innocence can lay the foundation for a major betrayal.
As I explain in Medical Medium: Secrets Behind Chronic and Mystery Illness and How to Finally Heal (Revised and Expa..., we can lose faith when we go from doctor to doctor, realizing that medical research and science don’t have all the answers to why we are sick.
If you endure a personal struggle or hardship, are let down or even betrayed, it can diminish your ability to trust anyone. And perhaps worse, it can endanger your belief in yourself and your judgment.
Along similar lines, if you’ve been told incorrectly that you’re sick because your immune system has gone haywire and is attacking you in an autoimmune response, you may lose the ability to trust even your own body. Further, if you’ve been given incorrect information because—as is the case in many conditions in this book—the real culprit is a virus or bacteria, you may lose faith in your internal senses, too.
Such emotional blows injure the soul. They also hinder your ability to completely believe that you can overcome illness and recover your health.
A simple yet profoundly effective way to heal such wounds is to become aware of the sunset. Toward the end of the day, take a few minutes to watch the sun go down (while never looking directly at the sun, which is damaging to the eyes). Or if you’re in a building that blocks your view of the sky, be mindful of the sun during the time it’s setting. If you’re usually glued to a device at this time of day, set a reminder to shift your mental focus.
As the sun goes down, you may feel a sense of loss, as if a friend you love has gone away...with the promise of returning tomorrow. That’s what makes this technique resonate on such a deep level: you face the falling darkness with the absolute, irrefutable knowledge that the light will return.
Performing this exercise at least three times a week will change how you experience life—in the best way. If you have a love for the angels, summon the Angel of Trust.
When the sun appears above the horizon the next morning, even if you’re asleep when it happens, your body will be attuned to the earth’s rhythms. You’ll click with the fact that as promised, your friend has returned. The sun has risen every day of your life. It will continue to do so for the rest of your time on earth. Connecting with this truth that the sun will never let you down, the soul will relearn critical trust, which will activate healing energy on the deepest level.
