A Poem? Maybe?

[Rick]

@kato 

Howdy dude,

Well sounds like christmas. 

I'm very pleased for you that you have sourced a goodun, and that he will source someone equally good for you.

In my experience Psyches don't waste words too often. That is not including the transferrance ridden fruitloop quacks out there. 

It appears that he's going to assess you from scratch, I think this is wise. You appear to present complex symptoms and need a clinician who can recognise that and together you can formualte a viable treatment plan. 

I remember when I first was referred to my quack, George. Well ol George was sourced for me by a doc who just didn't have the hours to start with me. His first assessment though? It opened my eyes.

So I met George and he assessed me, told me his opinion and offered to treat me long term. 

At the time I was in pathological denial, and he worked with on it, for 4 years. He unnderstood it was part of the MI. Complex MI.

So, Believe me I tell you I am glad for you. From your words it would appear he suspects a complex condition. If he can recognise that then he's the right guy. No simple easy answers just good ol fashioned truth.

I have to say you come across as hopeful and positive. Frickin great!

Always enjoy reading your posts Kato,

Continue to take care of you

Hope endures and all that 

Rick

[peace]

@kato I do feel a little better tonight thanks but still a bit on edge. Frazzled because my psych talked so much about the new medication I am.on, I asked about the interactions with the others and how the pharmacist has worries. So that was more time spent looking that up and explaining it to me. Then him not being able to determine a diagnosis ?? Like what's up with that ?? He's had me placed in this diagnosed box for so long that he didn't see past it. I felt like I hadn't been taken seriously. And the fact that I was placed on anti-depressants that never worked and he never did anything to help as I have times when I appeared well. But the whole time my life was spinning out of control. I have begged for his help. Because of some strange attachment thingy I was always on a high to see him. I told him this. The lows and crippling fear were going to be the death of me and luckily I didn't go down that path 100% but it was always on my mind. Anyways with the new meds working so well currently he just kinda then dismissed me. It maybe all in my head but thats were it is. I didn't even get a chance to speak and now I gotta wait 2 months. I am sometimes super sensitive. And the old self-esteem just isn't what it used to be. Oh Bugger have I said to much......silly me gonna press post anyway.

THANKS

[PeppiPatty]

@Peace,
How are you this morning?
Your message has some sentences that I'de like to have a go at answering.

It feels like there is a dialogue that your Psychiatrist is wanting you to start with him.

What I write is only my thoughts on what you write. I am not sympathetic to Psychiatrists. I have had two or three twisty meetings with two I'm specifically thinking of but on the other hand, three or four years ago, I had an appointment with one who I thought understood my concerns.

the dialogue I am referring to, is about your diagnosis.

you could see him/her next time and address the importance of being diagnosed.
why Diagnose? because, when one is diagnosed by a professional, the therapy can be more attuned to your specific needs.
Right medication.
you as a client have the freedom to research your own 'symptoms.'
You can research your own diagnosis and by not doing say.......things that preticipate your diagnosis, the difficult parts of your diagnosis might not come up so much.

A few years ago, I was put on the wrong anti depressants. And at this time.........I thought I was cracking and slipping.
My GP was very overwhelmed on my situation, She told me. I was working very hard at trying to pull/ keep,myself together. So, I went on Internet, met some people and talked to them about their medication. I chose to tell my GP of what I found out and it worked out well. She changed my medication.
After a while....My GP asked me to see someone else.

Of course, I'm writing a shortened version of something that went on for about three years.

[kato]

@peace 

Hey Peace, Thank you for sharing what is going on, i know sometimes it is difficult to wrap the head around things, believe me i know it, I am going to address your last comment first 🙂

If you felt that you had said too much, you would not have hit post, you decideing to hit post, shows the strength in wanting support. Which you have here, sometimes i write and write and write, and then before i can think about it i hit post, i re-read what i have written, and it almost always seems that i am getting things off my chest/ out of my head, i seem to be relieved or less pressured/burdened when i do it.

There is some good news amongst your post, your new meds are working well, which is really good, sometimes it is very trying and takes it's toll finding something that helps/works, i am glad that you have had the strength to not go down the dark path, it is easy to fall into, i know what it is like also, i fall and i fall hard, that is what is good i think about this forum, being able to open up about our emotions, and address our thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes a diagnosis can be formed early on, and then with treatment and exploration of the sessions, sometimes can make the diagnosis change or it is more complex then initially thought, i was pigeon holed by my last psychiatrist, and i was not comfortable with him because of that. The attachment and the feelings associated with seeing a specialist, i sorta understand, i get the opposite currently, i get nervous and anxiety and really stressed, it is because i have fears asscoiated with what might come up.

Can i ask why you have to wait 2 months? perhaps it might be good to see if you can organise something quicker/earlier and maybe see if you can address the concerns you have?

Peace, you are not alone, i too have low self esteem and i am sensitive also, it makes things difficult when they don't go the way i thought it might, so i come on here, and i read through good posts, old posts from me, or from others to me, and try and see the good.

Hope this helps, i am finding it difficult at the moment being supportive

Thank you

(big virtual hug)

[kristin]

Hi @peace 

That sounds really awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you - makes me so cross I could spit! I respectfully suggest that your psych may be part of your problem? Dismissive and not listening is the last thing you need, how can he help if he doesn't listen or dismisses (or disbelieves) what you say? You deserve a lot better than this.

Hope for helpful help endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Hey @kato 

I thought I might add a poem of my own here (I hope that's ok), which I think you can relate to...

Waiting

Contemplating the unthinkable
Experiencing the unfeelable
Surviving the unendurable
Telling the unspeakable
Embracing the unholdable

Time passes
swiftly or agonisingly
I learn the quiet
and infinite value
in simply waiting

A mustard seed of hope
and abundant grace
bear uncountable gifts

Kristin © January 2015

It's about some of what I have learned in waiting (6 months) for my name to reach the top of the waiting list at ECASA, and finally receive counselling.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[PeppiPatty]

Hi Kristen,
What a nice poem.
It's gets a bit deep then....you just lift yourself out of it

cool.......
ja47yr

[Loopy]

justanother47yr, allo,

Wandering along the dark streets
I face my fear lonesome,
Hitting stones in my way
More and more strong I become;
With every gust of wind
My heart ignites new sparks,
Missing parts of this whole journey
With my every try, make me stark;

Either hills of troubles arrive
Or I find numerous dales of difficulties,
None and nothing can block my way
Till lies there in my mind peace;
Every fall make me stand
as there always I find rope,
Givin’ up try’s just a dream
Until in my life spread rays of hope.

the looped has returned.

[CherryBomb]

@Loopy 

I choose a doormat because I want to welcome back to your cyber home -  a place where you are free to come and go, and when when you return, you can be with people who you know, that care about you. It's great to have you back.